Tag Archives: weather humor

Amusing Monday: Are you ready for winter snow adventures?

Snow is on its way. It has arrived in the mountains, and I expect it will soon come to the lowlands … maybe not this week … maybe not this month … maybe not this year … but snow is coming. You can count on it.

Comedian Ross Bennet recalls the excitement and confusion that he felt as a child when snow started to fall. In the first video on this page, he tells how “snow days” could keep him home from school to face the perils of sledding. Then right in the middle of his story about sledding, Ross reveals a universal truth about learning to ski, and I realized that my path was not unique.

“The first time I went skiing …, I found the fundamental truth of human nature, which is that good skiers lie to new skiers,” Ross notes in the first video. “They say, ‘I will take you skiing.’ They never take you skiing; they leave you skiing. They take you to the top of mountains, mountains with names like ‘No One Has Made It Yet’ and ‘Widows Peak.’ They leave you while they ski down the mountain. They jump over moguls, moguls which I am convinced are new skiers that did not make it all the way down.”

That’s exactly what happened to me when I first learned to ski. I was living in Idaho in 1975 when I was “taken” to the slopes by a young woman who I thought was my friend. She was a near-expert skier, and I had never skied before. After a nice ride on a long ski lift, I found myself at the top of the tallest run at Grand Targhee Ski Resort, just over the state line in Wyoming.

I was soon alone. Where were the other skiers? I can remember the cold air being so quiet that I could hear the wind blowing the waist-deep powder snow. I couldn’t see my skies in all that powder, but I should have been grateful. The soft snow cushioned my tumbles down the steep hill. My “teacher” was waiting for me about halfway down the slope, where she offered a few tips on reducing the frequency of falling. For some strange reason, I kept going back, and I became a better skier — but not right away.

Ross Bennett has appeared on numerous television shows, including “The Late Show with David Letterman” and Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.” Ross must be a little younger than I, since he was going into West Point when I was graduating from Washington State University.

“I dropped out of West Point to become a comedian — probably the greatest service I will ever do for my country,” he quips.

As these videos reveal, Ross can tell a good story, and his facial expressions are a key part of his performance. He talks a lot about his family, including his father, who was a colonel in the Marine Corps. Read Ross’s bio on IMDb.

Ross now teaches comedy writing in New York and still performs at comedy venues around the country. For specific dates, check out his website, RossBennet, which contains a few videos of his performances. For more videos, go to “Ross Bennett” on YouTube.

Amusing Monday: Laughing at the snow and cold

Whether you love or hate the snow, a bit of humor always comes in handy during the recent weather we’ve been having.

The following are some quotes, jokes and a couple videos I gleaned from the Internet. Each item lists a source with more funny stuff. If you have a favorite winter joke, please add it in the comments section below.

“Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.” — Kin Hubbard (Quote Garden)

“There’s one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor’s.” — Clyde Moore (Quote Garden)

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” — Carl Reiner (Quote Garden)

“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.” — Patrick Young (Quote Garden)

Of winter’s lifeless world each tree
Now seems a perfect part;
Yet each one holds summer’s secret
Deep down within its heart.
~Charles G. Stater (Quote Garden)

“Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.” — Earl Wilson (Quote Garden)

“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” — Jeff Valdez (The Quotations Page)

“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘Up yours.'” — Robert Byrne (Quote Garden)

Some definitions:

Winter: The age of shivery and shovelry.

Antarctic: Snowman’s land.

Flaky Person: A man who loves to be outside when it snows.

Skiing: A winter sport learned in the fall.

(Source: Daffynitions)

It was so cold …

It was so cold … 
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

It was so cold … 
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!

It was so cold … 
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

It was so cold … 
Richard Simmons started wearing pants!

It was so cold … 
a flasher rushed up to poor Mrs. Flannigan – and described himself!

It was so cold … we had to chop up the piano for firewood – but we only got two chords.

Source: Jokes 4 Us

It was so cold … that even the kids at the mall were pulling their pants up. (Snow and Mud)

Winter Story

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. “If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. “For the past 30 years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”

— Sandee (Comedy Plus)

Bumper Cars

The Slush Man Cometh