Tag Archives: Water humor

Amusing Monday: ‘Raw water’ craze strikes a nerve with comedians

While world health officials are trying to bring clean drinking water to sickly communities around the globe, there appears to be an upstart movement promoting so-called “raw water,” which is said to be considerably better for your health than pure clean water.

Raw water, by definition, is left untreated and reported to contain living organisms that provide health benefits. One brand, aptly named Live Water, is selling for more than $6 a gallon. You are advised to drink it within a month to prevent it from turning green, presumably from the growth of organisms.

The movement, which seems to encourage people to go out in search of natural springs, grew rapidly in California with the help of a guru-like character who changed his name from Chris Sanborn to Mukhande Singh. The whole story has been just too good of a setup for comedians to ignore.

There are some very amusing lines in the videos shown on this page, but I thought I should begin with a video that actually puts the issue into a serious context. Reporter Gabrielle Karol of KOIN-TV in Portland produced an investigative report two weeks ago. She found that the source of “Live Water” is a bottling and distribution plant in Oregon.

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Amusing Monday: time to water The Onion

We can always depend on The Onion, the fake news center, to come up with odd ways of looking at the world. Sometimes I laugh out loud; other times I just scratch my head.

I’ve been sharing watery slices of The Onion since I first started the “Amusing Monday” feature in 2008. The video at right is about how scientists react when they find water on the planet Mercury.

The following are some of The Onion’s newer stories, along with some old ones that never wear out.

Nation Back On Board With SeaWorld Following Awesome Orca Trick

Ending their intensifying tide of criticism over the marine park’s unethical treatment of animals … Americans across the nation announced this week that they were “totally back on board” with SeaWorld after seeing an awesome and absolutely can’t-miss orca trick…

“What can I say? I had SeaWorld all wrong—I had myself convinced they were some sort of exploitative company that abused animals in the pursuit of cheap thrills for tourists, but then I saw that orca make a big wave by slapping the water with his fin and I was like, ‘Hold the phone, I need to see that again,’” environmental reporter Craig Edmonds said while imitating the whale’s motion with his arms.

Fitting last week’s theme of climate change, The Onion reports this story:

Scientists Recommend Having Earth Put Down

Claiming that it is the humane thing to do, and that the planet is “just going to suffer” if kept alive any longer, members of the world’s scientific community recommended today that Earth be put down.

Radio News:

Scientific Journal Releases List Of Year’s Top 100 Compounds

Obese Salmon Unable To Swim Upstream To Spawn

After repeatedly gorging itself on marine sea life for more than seven years, a severely obese chinook salmon told reporters Wednesday he had grown too overweight to swim upstream and reproduce.

Drought Bad; Water Good

Sources nationwide are confirming this week that the current drought is bad and that water is very good …

Pool-Safety Tips

Here’s a sampling:
— Your body is 70 percent water, so don’t worry: Even if you were to drown, only 30 percent of you would die.
— Remember, you can’t leave young children unsupervised around the pool, the way you do in the house.
— Don’t swim in the end of the pool where unscrupulous Japanese commercial whalers are using gill nets and explosive harpoons.

NHL Finishes Freezing Water For 2011 Season

… A shortage of frozen water on hockey rinks in the beginnings of previous seasons meant that players were forced to adapt to less than ideal conditions, skating on whatever frozen water was available and then trudging clumsily over the exposed dirt or wooden floors….

“We also now completely understand—and agree—that all parts of the rink have to be covered with ice,” Bettman added. “Even the parts behind the nets.”

Old-Fashioned No-Water Practice Gets High School Diving Coach Fired

Perkins County High School diving coach Tony Spencer was fired Friday for what he called an “old-fashioned no-water practice,” a drill that left three swimmers dead and several others in intensive care.

“If you can dive into a pool with no water, imagine what you can do with a pool that has water,” the 72-year-old Spencer said as he was led to a police car…

Rain Told To Go Away In 1986 Returns

A rainstorm that in August 1986 was told to “go away” and advised to come again another day returned Monday, soaking the downtown Adair area for much of the afternoon.

A non-water video you may find amusing:


More Office Workers Switching To Fetal Position Desks