Amusing Monday: Alligators are uniquely odd and amazing

I don’t believe I’ve ever written about alligators, probably because they don’t live in the Northwest, and it’s not easy to find their amusing side. But American alligators are interesting, once you get to know them.

I’ve never noticed that alligators have two kinds of walks while traveling on land. Their ankles flex in a different way than most reptiles. There is a “high walk,” in which the alligator pushes itself up from the ground and moves quickly. This walk resembles that of four-legged mammals.

They also do the “low walk,” a sprawling locomotion in which their belly slides along the ground, though somewhat different from a salamander or lizard. Although they normally move slowly, some alligators can reach nearly 10 miles per hour in the high walk during short bursts.

Alligator on bicycle by American Apparel. Click for website.
Alligator on bicycle by American Apparel. Click for website.

Alligators are common in cartoons, both still and animated. Here I feature a music video with the theme song of a musical group based in Finland, Arnie Alligator and the Jungle Drum. Among the many alligator characters invented through the years is Wally Gator, a character by Hanna-Barbera that I remember from my childhood. All the Wally Gator cartoons can be seen on Kiss Cartoon.

Collectible Florida Gator mug.
Collectible Florida Gator mug.

In addition to cartoons, we find lots of alligators on T-shirts, coffee mugs and other items, especially among students at the University of Florida, where the mascot is the Gator.

A few alligator jokes:

Q: Why don’t alligators like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Q: What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
A: I don’t know, but I’m not going to smell it!

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Q: What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A: A tail-gator.

Q: Why shouldn’t you taunt an alligator?
A: Because it might come back to bite you in the end.

Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”

A man walked into a Florida bar with his alligator and asked the bartender: “Do you serve lawyers here?”
Bartender: “Sure.”
Man: “Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my alligator.”

Q: Is it true an alligator won’t attack you if you are carrying a flashlight?
A: It depends on how fast you are carrying it.

Q: How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
A: You will see one later and one in a while.

Most of these jokes are from the website Jokes 4 Us, which probably picked them up from somewhere else.

More facts about alligators from Wired magazine:

  • Alligators continue to grow throughout their lifetime. Male American alligators average 8 to 10 feet long, females slightly smaller. Very old males can get up to 15 feet long.
  • Alligators are apex predators, eating fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals. But they have also been found to have a vegetarian side. The can eat fruit directly from trees, including wild grapes, elderberries and citrus fruits.
  • The temperature at which an alligator’s eggs develop will determine whether the offspring are male or female. Temperatures above 93 degrees will result in males. Temperatures below 86 degrees will result in females. Temperatures in-between produce both sexes.
  • Alligators make a variety of sounds, although they have no vocal cords. By blowing out air, they produce calls for claiming territory, signaling distress, threatening competitors and finding mates. Besides such bellowing, they can growl, hiss and make a cough-like sound called a chumpf.

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