The ongoing drought in the West, especially California, is a serious problem, but that does not mean that we shouldn’t enjoy a few jokes. I’ve located some “It’s-so-dry …” jokes going back 25 years and covering areas including Arizona, Texas, Georgia and even Minnesota.
I’ve tried to pick the best jokes I could find. But if you want to see even more, click on my sources in parentheses, not to say that these are the original inventors of these jokes.
The first joke is a little longer than the others:
“I really need to share with y’all how bad the drought is here in Georgia. It’s so dry here that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes; the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks; and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.” (1)
It’s so dry that …
- … the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire. (2)
- … the cows out here are giving powdered milk. (3)
- … the government has announced a water pistol buy-back scheme. (3)
- … you’re only permitted to eat watermelon between 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. (4)
- … thieves are siphoning from radiators instead of gasoline tanks. (4)
- … the dogs are marking their territory with chalk. (4)
- … the fastest growing crime is employee theft — by pool boys. (5)
- … you’re encouraged to pee in the pool!(5)
- … someone snatched my bottled water but left my iphone. (5)
- … the fire hydrants are chasing the dogs around. (6)
- … the fish are knocking on the door, askin’ for a drink of water. (6)
“A sad native prayed in Church today, ‘Please, God, let it rain — not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it — but for my 7-year-old.’” (7)
Q: What do you get if you cross a tortoise and
a porcupine?
A: A slow poke
SOURCES
- (1) Bonnie S Calhoun
- (2) Barry Popik
- (3) Australian Broadcasting Corporation
- (4) Greek City
- (5) Gayle Leonard
- (6) eBaum’s World
- (7) Joke Archives
