A co-worker plying his trade on a Saturday decided to take a break in the place that is one of the breakiest of the break places in downtown Bremerton, the Harborside Fountain Park.

The park, besides its whale spouts and imported trees and rocks, has a sound system that when employed provides an atmospheric backdrop that says, well I’m not sure what it says. It just plays music.

Said co-worker happened to be there on a day when said music was the kind that contains several references to human intimacy in rather non-discreet language, applying a common term that generally refers to intimacy to things that are incapable of being intimate, such as cars, homes and accountants.

If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, think of Ralphie when the lugnuts flew, and not because someone shot them.

Said co-worker told me of said incident, when diaper-clad kids could splash to the sounds of a story about women who are not particularly choosy and tend to display improper manners. It caused me to make three trips to the fountain park. When I went, though, all I heard was music inoffensive, unless you count Billy Squire. (I do, but not for the same reasons.) The broadcast was from the Sirius satellite network, which doesn’t have to concern itself with Federal Communications Commission standards. If Janet Jackson had experienced that malfunction on the Sirius radio, if that were possible, she wouldn’t have been fined.

I talked to Wyn Birkenthal, Bremerton’s parks and recreation director, about the Saturday experience of my co-worker and he was appropriately aghast. It’s not something he wanted repeated. Staff has been instructed to only employ channels that “provide music without profane lyrics or questionable DJ commentary.

You’re children are safe from potty mouth entertainers, at least in Bremerton‘s parks.

You’re welcome.

I can’t protect them from bad musicians, though.

With any luck, maybe you’ll hear this guy: