Super Bowl ‘rioting’ likely made Seattle neighborhoods safer

12th man 1

In some cities, a team winning a national championship might result in the kind of fanfare expected at Armageddon.

But this is the Northwest. We love our crowd violence, but not when it comes to a measly Super Bowl win. It may be hard for outsiders to understand that while we are passionate about our teams, we keep ourselves pretty high.

Some climbing on buildings and signs in Pioneer Square, two people shot, and college kids lighting a few couches on fire in the University District?

This means there was actually less crime and violence in those neighborhoods than usual.

It’s unknown if the shootings were related to celebrations, or people furious that the Pergola had been damaged. The Pergola, if you don’t know, is an important symbol in the history of crack in Seattle.  Hopefully it will be repaired, and lots of crack will be smoked under it again.

Here in Kitsap County, there was a report of a couple fights at a bar on Perry Avenue at about midnight. Cops came, told everybody to go home. So they did.

If the Internet is to be believed, however, the barbarians have overrun the streets.

Something called had this to say:

“Seattle Seahawks fans reacted to their team’s Super Bowl victory by behaving like animals – lighting fires, damaging historic buildings and ripping down street signs during raucous scenes last night.”

What kind of animals use fire, InfoWars? Most animals don’t even have opposable thumbs.

Another media outlet, Breitbart News, its name derived from a Spanish obscenity, fantasized that riot police restored order.

After the Seattle Seahawks won their first Super Bowl in franchise history on Sunday, fans in Seattle jumped on cars, took over intersections, torched couches, and riot police had to be brought in to restore order.

Let’s be honest: those couches needed to be torched anyway.

One venerable outlet, called American Live Wire, ran a headline that breathlessly cried, “Seattle Riots 2014 After Winning Super Bowl.” Here are the facts that supported the headline:

At least one bonfire had been started near the University of Washington campus.

At least … one?

The New York Daily News, whatever that is, said six people were arrested when crowds turned unruly. Sounds like they may have got that from the Seattle Times, which said six arrests were made throughout the city. The crowd on Capitol Hill had been posing for photos with police all night.


All together, it was a fun and safe time had by almost everybody. The world thinks we are animals, the Denver Broncos realized they might as well text “jk?” and a smiley emoticon to Tim Tebow and Seattle can now sit smug with the knowledge that our team won the the Super Bowl of Super Bowls: The Super Bowl.

UPDATE: Here is a post from the Seattle police on dealing with those animal 12th Men.

UPDATE: I removed a paragraph from the lower middle section. It just bugged me. It was critical of Seattle police, and made fun of their reputation for being heavy-handed, but like any time you make fun of a group based on their reputation, it didn’t reflect accurately on all the Seattle officers who do a good job and a harder job because of that reputation. Nobody said anything to me, this was my decision. It was a Richard Sherman moment. Carry on.

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