On Notice — Enjoy it While You Can

Steven Gardner writes:

Time once again for the Kitsap Caucus’s blatant thievery of Stephen Colbert’s “You’re on Notice” feature. Those of you aware that I was going on vacation were surely justified in fidgeting anxiously over whether I’d post one of these before my departure. Surely you love this feature. Humor me, won’t you?

Alberto Gonzales makes the list for obvious reasons. If it’s not obvious to you then maybe you should be on this board next time.

Pancake eaters will be on notice throughout the Bremerton Area Chamber of Commerce’s Eggs & Issues season, while candidates warm a room at Family Pancake House trying to convince voters they deserve your vote. It’s port time this Thursday. Regular pancake eaters might experience longer delays as the restaurant’s wait staff cater to morning people riveted by discussions of parking garages and junky yard enforcement. It must be the coffee.

Carpetbaggers and spies get the notice for the goings on in Port Orchard. Read an earlier post about it.

Late campaigners who still haven’t figured out that some of your constituents have already voted may end up short come Aug. 21.

Port Orchard gets on the board after consecutive weeks on it when this was a feature of the Bremerton Beat. It just feels good to put the city there again.

Checkout lines will be far less festive now that the Weekly World News announced it will no longer create print editions. You have to go online for it now. Remembering the time I saw the headline about a woman who had an afterlife experience and saw Elvis at the end of the tunnel, I am deeply saddened. I’m getting my groceries delivered from now on.

Haystack Rock is on notice because I’ll be seeing it this next week. It better be awesome.

My couch is on notice, because I suspect that for all my ambition about house projects and exercise, I’ll be spending serious potato time watching the Mariners and movies.

Remember, “You’re on notice” means “I’m watching you,” not “You’re dead to me,” which is a different Colbert subject. Send me your nominations for things or people you’re getting a little suspicious of, or getting a little tired of, or you think are not getting the attention they should. Feel free to duplicate other peoples’ nominations. If something gets nominated a lot, it’s more likely to get on the board.

Then again, this isn’t scientific and is subject to the blogmaster’s personal bias and sense of what’s relevant and/or funny. The board will be updated whenever we’re good and ready. We’re seldom both, so be patient.