Ninjas Among Us

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Ninjas Mean Business

This post may not at first appear to have anything to do with Bremerton, but that’s just what the ninjas want us to believe.

The truth is we are one throwing star away from a complete ninja infestation. Don’t believe me? Are you thinking to yourself, “OK, sounds like old Andy has gotten into the horseradish?”

You have the luxury of skepticism. But not me. We in the mainstream media know the truth, the truth that we are bound not to reveal, the truth that I will reveal here on the Bremerton Beat.

We are surrounded by ninjas.

Once thought to have gone the way of pull tabs on cans of Schlitz, this report of a ninja suspected of menacing school children shows us that we can’t be too careful.

It also reminds us that when somebody reports a ninja lurking near a school and the police find a camp counselor dressed in a karate outfit on his way to a costume party, we need to dig deeper.

If I disappear tonight, you know who to blame.

Shhh. They’ll hear us.

4 thoughts on “Ninjas Among Us

  1. Thought you might find this apropos:

    As a journalist, you are the lifeblood of the democracy, and without your skills and bravery, our country would quickly sink into a fascist dictatorship. Well done.

    But perhaps your chosen career lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. Perhaps instead of being the lifeblood, at times you wish you were spilling it under a full moon wearing nothing but a black ninja suit?

    Just a thought. Keep up the journalism for now?

  2. Binion here:

    Thanks for pulling my coat tails about these shirts. They are awesome. Who thought something as deadly as ninjas would be so funny.

  3. We need ninjas to keep the saggy-butt-pants, pierced-face skateboarders in check. There is a balance to everything, Andrew. If I have to put up with seagulls to keep the ocean in balance, Bummertonians will have to put up with the occasional ninja or the skateboarders will take over.

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