Steeply rising gas prices and a souring economy have grounded many jet-set vacations. But that doesn’t mean Puget Sounders can’t find adventure nearby.

Try a “staycation,” advises the The Naked Loon, Puget Sound’s “Most Spectacular (satirical) Newspaper.”

But staycationers be warned: while Bainbridge may seem like a good place for a little R&R, the island has many unsavory characters roaming the beaches.

According to the Loon:

Hippies selling trinkets on the beach will say or do just about anything to get you to buy their wares. Officer Mike Gerard says that you should be skeptical of their claims—but feel free to ask them for a little dance if you want. Trinket dealers often tell tourists that their knick-knacks are made of high-quality plastic and then quote prices starting at around $5. But Gerard points out that the do-dads are almost always made from nothing more than discarded seashells gathered at low tide. “Tourists from the ‘mainland’ are always looking for a bargain,” Gerard says.

And I thought the last of the Bainbridge hippies were swept off the island in the late 80’s when Bellevue settlers began crossing the Sound for greener pastures. It’s good to see pockets of resistance remain, and that they’re continuing their age-old do-dad selling traditions.