Police blotter: Drunken driver crashes car, sees God


A drunken driver mixed up his arresting officer with Jesus Christ during a post-collision epiphany.

Also this week, two drivers crashed after falling asleep at the wheel.

May 26
Burglary: Someone failed in an attempted riding lawn mower burglary at a Ferncliff Avenue home sometime during the last week. A garage door was pried open and the mower was partially dismantled in an attempt to make the mower easier to move. The burglary was abandoned after it proved difficult to back the mower out of the garage.

May 25
Crash: Two Bainbridge residents suffered minor neck injuries during a collision on Highway 305 near Sportsman Club Road just after 6 p.m. One of the drivers, a female, told police she “fell asleep” before her vehicle struck the rear end of the second vehicle. One of the drivers was taken to a nearby hospital.

May 24
Drunken driving: A 48-year-old Bainbridge man was arrested for drunken driving near the Pavilion building on Madison Avenue just before midnight. An officer on patrol noticed that the suspect’s vehicle had driven onto a sidewalk and then fell from a three-foot-tall concrete embankment onto the Pavilion’s parking lot. The vehicle’s could no longer move because it’s rear wheels remained on top of the embankment. Six bystanders were staring at the vehicle when the officer arrived. The driver was highly intoxicated. He didn’t know how the accident happened, saying he heard a “clunk” sound and found his vehicle immobilized. The suspect spoke incoherently, at one point declaring that his arresting officer was “Jesus.” The suspect was taken to the county jail in Port Orchard.

Crash: A car driven by an 80-year-old Bainbridge man crossed the center line on Blakely Avenue at struck a station wagon head on just before 1 a.m. No injuries were reported. The suspect told police he fell asleep while driving. He was cited for inattentive driving.

May 22
Blocked: Engine failure caused a Bainbridge man’s sailboat to stall in the path of an outgoing state ferry. The sailboat was towed to Blakely Harbor.