Police blotter: No bruises, no pants, no jail?

When police arrived at a North Madison Avenue house on a domestic violence call, the boozy bruiser lounging inside slyly deflected police accusations that he had a tussle with his wife.

“There are no marks on her or I,” he said.

Indeed, police had no trouble verifying that he bore no visible injuries because he was, after all, not wearing a shirt. Or pants.

Also this week: scratchin’ and bitin’ malamutes and mastiffs.

Read the blotter below….

Mar. 21
Theft: A Wing Point Way resident reported that two folding knives and three blank checks were stolen from his house, which he shares with eight other residents.

Dog attack: A Bainbridge man was injured when he tried to fend off a large malamute dog that attacked his leashed beagle as they walked along Beach Crest Drive just before 2 p.m. The malamute attempted to pick the beagle up in its mouth. The man was scratched near an eye by the malamute when he intervened. Police reported that the man’s scratch was three inches long and was red and swollen. The man explained that he’d been walking his beagle when the 60-lb. malamute climbed over a fence. The beagle appeared to have sustained no injuries. Because the malamute did not bite the man, animal control officials requested that Bainbridge police simply document the incident.

Mar. 20
Assault: A Bainbridge man was arrested for assaulting his wife at their North Madison Avenue home and for interfering with her attempt to call 911. Police, upon arriving at the home shortly after at 9:20 p.m., learned that the victim had been struck on the face and that he had knocked a phone out of her hand on her first attempt to call 911. Police found the man sitting in a chair wearing only his underwear. He appeared intoxicated and declined a police request to put additional articles of clothes on. When asked if he’d fought with his wife, the suspect responded: “There are no marks on her or I.” Police noted that such a response typically means a physical altercation occured. When asked about his use of intoxicants, the suspect said he’d used cocaine heavily in the recent past. When asked about alcohol, the suspect said he wouldn’t “go there” and refused to answer alcohol-related questions. The adolescent son of the suspect and victim told police that his father punched his mom in the face and had attempted to strike her with his elbow. The victim said she’d been struck by the suspect several times but had never reported it. Police helped the man dress and took him to the Kitsap County Jail.

Mar. 19
Lost: A disoriented elderly woman was found lying on the ground in an overturned wheelchair on Madison Avenue shortly after 4:15 a.m. A passerby said the woman appeared unable to move and told him she didn’t know where she lived but that she wanted help “getting out of here.” Police discovered that the woman had been living at a care facility across the street from where she was found. Staff at the facility said the woman’s exit had triggered a door alarm. When they investigated, they didn’t see anything out of the ordinary and said that it was probably too dark to have seen the woman. She suffered abrasions on an elbow, ankle and toe after falling in her wheelchair.

Mar. 18
Dog attack: A Bainbridge woman’s face was bitten by a Brazilian mastiff at a Maple Street residence just after 11:30 a.m. The victim said she had been petting the dog, which is owned by her fiance, when it unexpectedly bit her face. The woman suffered a large wound along her forehead and cheek. The owner said the dog’s rabies shots were recently updated. The victim was transported to Harborview Hospital in Seattle for treatment.

Mar. 17
Fire: Bainbridge police assisted firefighters in responding to a house fire on Arrow Point Drive shortly after 3 p.m. The fire, which burned part of a home’s upper story, was extinguished by firefighters. No one was injured. Police were not certain of the fire’s cause. Emergency responders were called again to the home when the fire flared up later in the day.