Police blotter: Hit-and-run witnesses chase down suspects

Don’t mess around in Lynwood Center. A Mercedes Benz packed with teens (including one in the trunk) hit a parked car and sped away. Rather than just scribble down the license plate, a few Lynwood Centerers hopped into their cars and chased the the car down, which erupted, clown-car style, with several youngsters (including the one in the trunk) who bounded off into the woods.

Also this week, a wind-whipped tree branch nearly impales a driver, and two reindeer are spotted by police..uh, “compromising” in a front yard. The week’s only ice-related car crash was caused by an out- -of-stater. Californian? Nah, too easy. Hawaiian? Close, if you’re considering the chronology of statehood. Alaskan? Yep, a rough-and-ready northerner from The Palin State rear-ended a local and then skidded into the ditch.

And the quote of the week: “I’m going to cut you open, bro.”

Crash: An Alaskan driving a Toyota Camry struck the rear of a Ford truck driven by a Suquamish resident after sliding on roadway ice on State Route 305 near Winslow Way. The truck slid off the roadway and the Toyota ended up in the ditch. No injuries.

Smashed: The rear window of a vehicle parked at a Crystal Springs Road was broken sometime overnight. Damages to the tinted defroster window was estimated at $600.

Dec. 12
Impaled: A tree branch fell vertically through the windshield of Toyota Camry driven by a Bainbridge man on Lynwood Center Road shortly after 4 p.m. The incident was blamed on the wind. No injuries.

Dec. 11
Poisoned: A Bainbridge woman called police to report her suspicion that her husband may be trying to kill her. She told police that that he tried to poison her in October but that she opted not to call police. Recently, she noticed bleach marks on  her house’s walls and on a towel, as well as a strong solvent smell in her house. These may be attempts to kill her, she told police. She also believes her husband may have poisoned a pot roast she cooked this week. Her suspicion was also raised by plugged drains, a malfunctioning washing machine, “crossed wires” between her cable and phone lines, and small drill holes in her ceiling. The woman  “mentioned this all sounds ‘crazy’ but was adamant it was true,” an officer said. She was advised to get a restraining order or to contact police next time she believes her life’s in danger. She was also referred to domestic abuse resources.

Reindeer rustling: A three-foot tall white reindeer lawn ornament was reported stolen from the yard of a Cherry Avenue home sometime during the night. A remaining reindeer was placed on top of one another in a “compromising position,” police reported. The missing reindeer was valued $80.

Theft: A Helmsman Court resident reported that several items were stolen from his unlocked Lexus car during the night. Stolen items included car insurance information, a car manual, car registration and a bible.

Found: A stolen Ford Explorer was found by a woman who noticed the abandoned vehicle in her Yeti Lane driveway. The contents of the vehicle were strewn about and the keys were left inside. The owner was contacted.

Theft: A Day Road resident reported that several items were stolen from her unlocked vehicle during the night. Stolen items included 15 CDs, dance scarves, two pairs of children’s ballet shoes, a children’s book and several invitations to a recital.

Dec. 10
Chased down: Witnesses to a vehicular hit-and-run chased down the suspect and detained two of of his passengers. According to witnesses, a Mercedes Benz with several youths inside struck a Honda in a parking lot on Lynwood Center Road shortly after noon. The Mercedes fled the scene at a high rate of speed with several witnesses in pursuit. At the intersection of Palomino Drive and Dapple Court, the Mercedes stopped and several youths ran from the car on foot. At least one of the teens exited the vehicle through the trunk before running away. Two of the youths waited for the witnesses to arrive. The two youths told police that they didn’t know the driver and had trouble pronouncing his last name. They said they had been walking to a Winslow restaurant when the Mercedes pulled up and one of its occupants offered them a ride. The driver had refused to pull over after accidentally striking the Honda, the two said. The driver told his passengers that he feared his brother’s anger because the Mercedes was his. The Mercedes suffered damage to a front corner and bumper. The Honda suffered only a scuffed tire and hub cap. The Mercedes was impounded. A wallet found in the console was being used by police to track down the car’s owner.

Dec. 9
Dumped: Police noticed that 45 cans of partially empty industrial spray paint had been dumped in a grassy field along Fletcher Bay Road. “It is feasible that because of the hazardous waste products that these are, someone decided to dump them,” an officer said. The officer transported the paint cans to the city public works department for disposal.

Dec. 8
Theft: Two signs reading “Think Globally, Shop Locally” were reported stolen from  High School Road and Winslow Way. Losses were valued $70.

Dec. 7
Drunken driving: A Bainbridge man driving a sedan was arrested for drunken driving on Ferncliff Avenue shortly after 3 a.m. Police observed the car traveling “far in excess” of the speed limit, swerve repeatedly out of its lane and drove for an extended period of time with its passenger-side wheels on a curb. Once pulled over, the suspect said he was coming home from work and was trying to light a cigar and use his cell phone while using his knees to steer the car. He admitted to recently consuming two beers on a ferry. At the station, the suspect said his high blood-alcohol level “is what it is” and that he was going to “let the chips fall where they may.”

Dec. 6
Knife fight: A fight involving a knife occurred at a Winslow Way bar shortly after 12 a.m. Police arrived at the scene after the suspect had fled. According to witnesses, the fight began when the suspect punched a man in the stomach. The victim’s friend stepped in and suggested they all go outside. The suspect pulled out a knife and held it to the victim’s stomach, saying “I’m going to cut you open, bro.” Instead, the suspect left the scene as witnesses called police. A knife believed to be the suspect’s was found in a nearby dumpster. The suspect is described as Hispanic, 5 feet tall, 150 lbs and with short black hair.