Police blotter: Don’t drink and drive your ‘moticle’


This week, police don infrared goggles in search of the island’s feared golf cart rustlers.

Also, the blotter brings us a valuable lesson: never use ‘motor vehicle’ in its slurred variant, ‘moticle,’ while talking with police. They will know your are drunk. Instead, try the one-syllable ‘car.’

April. 20
Rollover: A Seattle man lost control of his 1972 Cadillac on Madison Avenue, rolled into a ditch and came to rest on the car’s roof. The incident happened during heavy snow and icy road conditions shortly before 10:30 a.m. The driver denied having injuries. The passenger mentioned neck pain and said she’d seek medical attention on her own. The Cadillac appears to have been a total loss, police said.

April 19
Crash: A Portland man driving a northbound Volkswagen four-door was forced off of Finch Road just before 1 a.m. by a large black SUV. The SUV reportedly veered from its lane, forcing the Volkswagen into a ditch, where it sustainined slight front-end damage. No injuries.

April 18
Golf cart joyride: During a routine traffic stop on Sportsman Club Road, an officer noticed a golf cart speeding around Sakai Intermediate School’s parking lot just after 10:25 p.m. The officer observed three people immediately hop from the cart and run away. The officer let the motorist go and drove over to the unoccupied cart and found its key in the ignition. The officer donned his thermal imager but could not locate the cart’s occupants. Officers later contacted a developer associated with a business park across the street who confirmed the cart, which was valued at $2,000, was his.

Suicidal: A man called 911 just before 3 p.m. to report that his sister was suicidal. The man had received a call from his sister’s physician who noted that she had disregarded her advice to seek a mental evaluation and that she had threatened to kill herself. The woman was crying when police arrived at her Bainbridge home. She noted that she had attempted suicide two days prior. She showed police bandaged cuts on both her wrists and noted that she still wished to harm herself. The woman was transported to Harrison Hospital in Bremerton.

Abandoned child: A 3-year-old girl was found wandering High School Road just before noon wearing only underwear and covered in feces. A motorist used his car to block traffic as a pedestrian ran out to get the child from the roadway. After asking where the girl lived, she led the motorist another passerby to a nearby apartment with its door wide open. The motorist called into the apartment but heard no response. He found a woman sleeping in a bed and woke her. The woman appeared “out of it, dazed and stunned,” according to the motorist. She thanked the motorist, who left and called police. Police visited the apartment, finding the girl looking clean and the mother crying. She told police that the girl’s father would install a chain lock on the door. The mother initially said she was working on a computer and didn’t notice the child leave. She later admitted she’d been sleeping and that the child likely walked out the door. She explained that the smeared feces was due to her daughter’s digestive problems. A report was forwarded to Child Protective Services.

April 17
Shoplifting: A wheelchair-bound male was accused of stealing a bottle of medicine from the Safeway on High School Road. The alleged thief said he had stopped to talk with someone and simply forgot to pay for the $16.28 bottle of digestive medicine. Store staff said they’d suspected the male of shoplifting on other occasions and followed him as he rolled through the aisles, purchased a sandwich and then allegedly wedged the bottle in his wheelchair. Once caught, the male said he’d pay for the medicine. He reentered the store but quickly exited through another door where he was again caught by staff. Police cited the male for third-degree theft. Store staff gave him a trespass letter banning him from the store for a year.

April 16
Crash: A Volvo driven by Bainbridge man struck a Honda Accord driven by a Bainbridge man on State Route 305 at the High School Road intersection. The Honda had signaled and made a lane change into the Volvo’s lane, which had approached the right turn lane from the shoulder. The Volvo’s driver suffered a cut on his hand and was cited for improper lane travel.

Drunken teens: Police found four juveniles sharing a bottle of whiskey on a beach near Manitou Park Boulevard shortly after 9 p.m. A girl was arrested for possessing alcohol. Another teen was arrested for consuming alcohol. The other two were released without charges.

Drunk driving: Police followed a Toyota Land Cruiser that was traveling erratically on State Route 305 to Day Road, where the driver exited the vehicle and was approached by an officer. According to the officer, the man’s eye’s appeared bloodshot and he slurred his words, pronouncing “motor vehicle” as “moticle.” The man, a Suquamish resident, was booked for driving under the influence of alcohol.