They call them “intellectual” jokes, because you must have special knowledge about science, literature, language, art, religion, philosophy or some other field for the jokes to make any sense.
You can find these jokes scattered across the Internet. At first, they may leave you annoyed, especially when you can’t figure them out and the author has not bothered to explain them.
On the other hand, they can be an opportunity to learn something new. Wikipedia can be a great place to jump into any of these inside jokes and add to your overall knowledge. And if you understand these jokes without any help, you may feel just a little smarter than the average joe.
I’ll share 10 of my favorite intellectual jokes with you. Please let me know what you think — either in the comment section below or to my email. Your comments will help me decide whether I should ever offer this brand of humor again.
I’ve put what I hope are reasonable explanations for each joke at the bottom of this post, in case you can’t figure them out.
1. Two men walk into a bar. The first orders H2O. The second says, “I’ll have H2O, too!” The second man dies.
2. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartended asks, “Do all
of you want a drink?”
The first logician says, “I don’t know.”
The second logician says, “I don’t know.”
The third logician says, “Yes!”
3. Q: Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
4. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”
5. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute
He’s 0K now.
6. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The
first orders a beer; the second orders half a beer; the third
orders a quarter of a beer; and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits.”
7. Pavlov is sitting at a bar when the phone rings. “Oh, no,” he said. “I forgot to feed the dog.”
8. Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says “Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?” Heisenberg says, “No, but I knew where I was.”
9 . Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton stands in front of Einstein and draws a square on the ground, one meter on each side. Newton then steps into the middle of the square. Einstein reaches 10 and uncovers his eyes. He spots Newton and exclaims, “Newton! I found you! You’re it!”
Newton smiles and says, “You didn’t find me; you found Pascal!”
10. The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.