Amusing Monday: Clever thoughts about humans and nature
Monday, January 5th, 2009A sampling of quotes about water, the environment, energy, the economy and our crazy society. These and a lot more can be found at Grinning Planet, which lives by the motto “saving the planet one joke at a time.”
“How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is clearly Ocean.”
— Arthur C. Clarke
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
— Dave Barry
“It’s hard for the modern generation to understand Thoreau, who lived beside a pond but didn’t own water skis or a snorkel.”
— Loudon Wainwright
“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.”
— Hal Borland
“There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.”
— Erma Bombeck
“Anyone who believes exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world is either a madman or an economist.”
— Kenneth Boulding
“A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and a real one.”
— J.P. Morgan
“That’s the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn’t care what economic bracket you’re in.”
— Whoopi Goldberg
“Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.”
— David Letterman
“We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.”
— Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
“‘Growth’ and ‘progress’ are among the key words in our national vocabulary. But modern man now carries Strontium 90 in his bones … DDT in his fat, asbestos in his lungs. A little more of this ‘progress’ and ‘growth,’ and this man will be dead.”
— Morris K. “Mo” Udall
“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
— Steven Wright
“I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.”
— Groucho Marx
“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
— George Gobel
“President Bush has a plan [to fight global warming]. He says that if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.”
— Jimmy Kimmel
“Why should I care about future generations? What have they ever done for me?”
— Groucho Marx
“The only two herbicides we recommend are cultivation and mulching.”
— Organic Gardening magazine
“The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking… If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.”
— Albert Einstein
“Don’t get me wrong: I love nuclear energy! It’s just that I prefer fusion to fission. And it just so happens that there’s an enormous fusion reactor safely banked a few million miles from us. It delivers more than we could ever use in just about 8 minutes. And it’s wireless!”
— William McDonough
“Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.”
— Arthur Stringer
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
— Mark Twain
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.”
— Doug Larson
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.”
— Bill Vaughan
“The greenest house is the one that never gets built.”
— Whit Faulconer
“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”
— Steven Wright






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