Category Archives: Humor

Amusing Monday: Getting wet is always worth a laugh or two

I’m not a big fan of compilation videos that show a series of accidents in which people get hurt and are obviously in pain. I tend to wince and just want to know if the person involved is OK. I’m sure I could laugh if only I was assured that the person didn’t die or get laid up in a hospital — although this kind of video does not normally convey this kind of information.

Getting wet is quite survivable, which is why I get a real kick from videos showing mishaps involving boats. I keep returning to the blooper videos by TV fisherman Bill Dance, who I blogged about in Water Ways two months ago.

America’s Funniest Home Videos put together a nice compilation of minor incidents involving people on the water. The pacing is just right, and the accompanying music, “Somewhere Beyond the Sea” by Frank Sinatra, couldn’t be better. This video is in the first video player on this page.

I don’t know if a person is more or less likely to be hurt on a large ship than a small boat when things go awry, but property damage from a ship can be enormous. I can easily forgive myself for laughing about terrible property damage as long as nobody gets hurt. Don’t ask me why. Check out:

Shifting gears a little, have you ever wondered what it would be like if Weird Al Yankovik were performing on the Titanic at the time the historic ship went down? I find this video funny, despite the human tragedy that occurred. I think it is because the story itself has become nearly a cliché. The video is called “Weird Al Yankovic On A Boat (And The Band Played On).”

Finally, there’s a commercial for Nitro boats featuring a fisherman guy who finds himself choosing between his boat and his new girlfriend. His answer to the question is simple, as you can see in the video below.

Amusing Monday: Dog sprays man and other fun with a garden hose

It isn’t the rare man-bites-dog story, but a humorous dog-sprays-man video has created a major buzz on the Internet since it was posted last week on YouTube and Facebook. Watch as the speedy dog chases his owner around the yard with a garden hose.

AFV Animals, a website affiliated with the television show America’s Funniest Home Videos, posted the video, and lots of people passed it on, adding their own headlines. Among them were: “Revenge-seeking dog drenches owner with hose” and “This dog demands that his owner stay hydrated in the summer heat.”

It turns out that the video was shown on “America’s Funniest Home Videos” back in 2007, when the announcer made this comment, “Max is a little bitter that he is not a Dalmatian with a swanky firehouse gig.”

I understand the notion of a dog getting revenge, after reviewing dozens of videos in which the dog’s owner sprays his pet with a jet of water. The dogs seem to love it, and it becomes a game between the human hose-bearer and the canine on the other end.

Check out these videos:

Kids get into the act in many videos. These are possibly my favorites:

The video that went viral last week is not the only one showing a dog using a hose to chase a man. In fact, one video, posted by FunnyFuse in 2010, seems to be less staged than the one that launched this blog post. You can hear the camera operator laughing and asking at the end, “Is this payback for all the time we sprayed her with a hose?”

What can a bear do with a garden hose? See “Water torture! Brown bear teases dog with hosepipe.”

And we must not mention dogs without offering at least one cat video. That’s exactly the number of videos I could find showing cats having fun playing in water. Chloe posted a video last year called “Funny Cat Playing With Water Hose” (video player below), along with the following comments on her YouTube Channel Clover Rose:

“I recently discovered that my cat likes to play with the water that comes out of my garden hose. He gets really wet after playing with the water. He hates getting wet, but he doesn’t seem to care if the hose wets him. I think he only likes to get wet on his terms.”

Amusing Monday: Evolution of the ‘water babies’ — a repeat

I was away from my computer all weekend until this evening, getting a very nice break in the San Juan Islands. I hope to tell you more about that later. In the meantime, I’d like to share an “Amusing Monday” entry from May of last year. If you follow all the various links in the blog post, you will see more videos of babies — human, animal and unreal — than you could ever ask for.
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Can we ever really get enough videos of “water babies”?

It’s a silly question, as if we could ever satiate our Internet appetite for video clips of cats, dogs and teenage monologues.

But you have to admit there is something magical about babies swimming around under water like jellyfish, their arms and legs moving in a rhythmical fashion. Nobody taught them to do this.

Before I tell you how “water babies” evolved into Spider Man, I’d like to remind you of the human connection between mothers and babies. The first video shows how moms have somehow calmed their fears and learned to release their infants into a watery void. As for the babies, it seems their adjustment is minimal. (Oh, yes, there’s a dad in there, too.)

The second video covers the same subject from a different perspective. We learn about the “diving refliex” that gives human babies special powers to make a fully equipped diver look incredibly clumsy.

So this blog entry is the third time I’ve talked about swimming babies since 2010, when I recalled the Evian water babies and their synchronized swimming and other impossible feats, all produced on a green screen to sell a bottle of water. See “Amusing Monday” for Aug. 8, 2010. I also listed several videos of “dancing babies.”

In 2012, I stayed on the point of real-life swimming babies, including not only humans but also sea lions, beavers, hippos, otters, kangaroos, turtles and elephants. See “Amusing Monday” for Jan. 20, 2012.

Emma Bazilian of Ad Week magazine recalls how Evian began using babies to sell bottled water in 1998, when the first “water babies” commercial appeared. (“At least there was actual water involved,” she notes.)

Emma goes on the say: “Evian has a long history of incorporating creepy CGI babies in its ads, and an equally long history of viewers gobbling it up like it’s some variety of highly addictive crack cocaine.”

So we find ourselves watching “Roller Babies” commercials and then last year’s “Baby & Me,” which transports people back to their earliest days of life by staring at their reflection in a window. More interesting, I think, was when Evian took us behind the scenes for “The Making of Baby & Me.”

So what should come next in this evolution from swimming babies to time travel? The answer arrived last month, when the Amazing Spider Man began seeing his childhood image in front of a window. You can check out what happened in the third video player on this page.

“And that’s it,” as Emma Bazilian says. “No explanation of what this has to do with Evian, apart from the brand’s ‘Live Young’ tagline at the end. We don’t even get to see Spider-Baby’s cute little face.”

Maybe we’ll never know what baby Spidy looks like, but if you put “baby swimming” into a Google search and hit the “video” tab, you’ll get a chance to view 66 million videos of what I presume are mostly babies and water.

Amusing Monday: Comedians share their thoughts about water

Actors and comedians are talking about water in a new video campaign to raise awareness about the value of clean water and the importance of keeping pollution out of waterways.

Waterkeeper Alliance brought together celebrities to share their feelings and memories about water uses. They include Neil Patrick Harris, Susan Sarandon, Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Ray Romano and Brad Garrett.

Locally, Puget Soundkeeper Alliance is affiliated with the national Waterkeeper Alliance. Puget Soundkeeper Chris Wilke, based in Seattle, is featured in an earlier video that explains the goals of Waterkeeper Alliance and the actions of the various affiliates across the United States and throughout the world.

The new campaign, called “Keep it Clean” is directed by Rachael Harris and produced by Kids at Play.

“We want to get people thinking about what water pollution means to them — to their drinking water, their surf break, their favorite fishing spot,” Harris said in a prepared statement. “But it’s a dirty and heavy topic! So we brought together some of the most brilliant and passionate voices in entertainment to put their own spin on it, to get a little silly, to make people think about why this issue is important, and what they can do to help.”

The videos presented here were announced as the “first round” of the campaign, which I presume means that more will be coming later. The three videos shown in players are compilations of comments on three themes:

  • What’s your favorite use of water? (top video)
  • Heartfelt memories (middle)
  • What does Waterkeeper Alliance do? (bottom)

The other videos show either celebrities speaking alone or with a partner:

Amusing Monday: Bears, birds and more can be viewed live online

The beautiful and powerful brown bears have arrived at Brooks Falls in Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska, and everyone in the world can enjoy the convenience of watching these giant bears and other amazing wildlife live from the comfort and safety of their home.

Lots of people have been going out to falls this year to watch the bears from nearby viewing platforms, but I get the feeling that far more people have been watching them from home via the live webcams. I say that because of the number of comments generated on the website. More than a few commenters seem to know the area well and even call the bears by their nicknames. (Park biologists use a numbering system, identifying each bear by coat and claw colors, scars, body size and shape, ear size and shape, sex, facial features and disposition.)

Brooks Falls is one of the first streams in the region where the bears have easy access to bright salmon soon after they leave the saltwater and before spawning. The falls provide a partial barrier to their travels, making fishing easier for the bears. By sometime in August, the fish runs will dwindle and the bears will be gone.

Operators of the multiple live webcams do a good job of zooming in when something interesting happens. Occasionally, so much is going on that they don’t know what to show. Other times, we wait and watch the beautiful scenery, which is especially dramatic at sunrise and sunset.

When the bears are actively fishing for salmon, I find it hard to break away and get back to daily life. One video trick I’ve learned: If you don’t see anything interesting in the live view, you can use your cursor to scan across the timeline to see what has happened for the past few hours and watch that instead.

Park officials have identified the various fishing methods used by the bears in an interesting Q&A section on the national park’s website.

Birds and marine mammal cams

Besides watching bears, it’s a good time of year to watch other wildlife as well via live webcam. Birds are typically active on their nests, raising their young.

Chesapeake Conservancy is featuring the osprey couple, Tom and Audrey, who perennially nest on Kent Island in Maryland. Audrey has taken up with a new “Tom” this year and produced three babies. They also received two foster chicks from nearby Poplar Island, according to information on the website.

Another good osprey cam was installed this year in Belwood Lake Conservation Area near the Great Lakes in Ontario, Canada. Three eggs reportedly hatched, but I see only two chicks in the nest.

Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife also has an osprey cam that updates still photos every 12 seconds.

A puffin cam at Seal Island National Wildlife Refuge in Maine shows a fuzzy chick tucked into a burrow where its mother comes and goes to feed her baby. Other views shows puffins on a ledge where they often hang out. Wildlife biologists are trying to establish a new colony at this location after hunters wiped out the puffins in the 1800s.

Another live camera on Seal Island shows a guillemot in a burrow.

If you would like to see a colony of walruses, (also in video player below) check out the live camera installed on Round Island, Alaska. Sometimes only a few of the large mammals can be seen. Other times, like this morning, large numbers were pushing and shoving each other for space. The comments are often entertaining.

If you are interested in more live cams of wildlife, check out last year’s Water Ways entry from June 23, 2014.

Meanwhile, the Seattle Aquarium is featuring live cams from its displays of harbor seals and sea lions.

Amusing Monday: Puppet, music help people save rockfish

Last week, while looking into some early research findings about Puget Sound rockfish (Water Ways, June 18), I found an amusing video, one created to encourage anglers to save the lives of rockfish when releasing the fish.

The video begins with a talking rockfish (puppet) sitting at a desk and watching a music video. That leads into a conversation about barotrauma, a type of injury to rockfish that results when the fish are caught and brought to the surface from deep water. Barotrauma can be reversed — and the lives of fish saved — by using a device to get the fish back down deep.

If you fish in deep water, you probably already know about this device, but I think everyone can be amused by this video and appreciate how humor can help introduce people to a serious topic.

The first couple minutes of the video introduces the viewer to the problem of barotrauma in simple terms, followed by about five minutes of product reviews showing various devices to reduce the effects on fish. If you are not interested in the technical side of things, you can skip over this part and go to 6:55 in the video. There you will hear the funny rap song about fishing for rockfish, including a line about “sending them back to where you got ‘em.”

The music video, “Rockfish Recompression,” was written and sung by Ray Troll and Russell Wodehouse. Wodehouse is the musician appearing in the video. Those two and others have long performed as the group Ratfish Wranglers, creating funny tunes about fish and related issues.

If you’d like to hear more from this group, check out these YouTube performances:

Amusing Monday:
It’s so dry … you just have to laugh

The ongoing drought in the West, especially California, is a serious problem, but that does not mean that we shouldn’t enjoy a few jokes. I’ve located some “It’s-so-dry …” jokes going back 25 years and covering areas including Arizona, Texas, Georgia and even Minnesota.

Photo: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
Photo: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

I’ve tried to pick the best jokes I could find. But if you want to see even more, click on my sources in parentheses, not to say that these are the original inventors of these jokes.

The first joke is a little longer than the others:

“I really need to share with y’all how bad the drought is here in Georgia. It’s so dry here that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes; the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks; and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.” (1)

It’s so dry that …

  • … the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire. (2)
  • … the cows out here are giving powdered milk. (3)
  • … the government has announced a water pistol buy-back scheme. (3)
  • … you’re only permitted to eat watermelon between 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. (4)
  • … thieves are siphoning from radiators instead of gasoline tanks. (4)
  • … the dogs are marking their territory with chalk. (4)
  • … the fastest growing crime is employee theft — by pool boys. (5)
  • … you’re encouraged to pee in the pool!(5)
  • … someone snatched my bottled water but left my iphone. (5)
  • … the fire hydrants are chasing the dogs around. (6)
  • … the fish are knocking on the door, askin’ for a drink of water. (6)

“A sad native prayed in Church today, ‘Please, God, let it rain — not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it — but for my 7-year-old.’” (7)

Q: What do you get if you cross a tortoise and a porcupine?
A: A slow poke

SOURCES

Amusing Monday: Cartoon starts kids on road to discovery

A series of seemingly silly videos, called “Gombby’s Green Island,” is designed to stimulate the imaginations of preschool kids. Themes focus on creativity, knowledge, friendship, humor, discovery and respect for the environment, according to notes on the YouTube channel (English version).

I’ve chosen a sampling of three videos from the 46 available on YouTube. Stories often come in a package of three videos, so each one has two related videos you can find and view with your children, if you are so inclined.

Canadian-based Kidobi, which distributes children’s videos, purchased the rights to the original Portuguese series from Big Storm Studios in 2012, according to a new release. The videos were recently posted to YouTube.

In the series, the main character, Gombby, a boy with a knack for baking, explores Green Island with his friends Strawy and Celeste. Other characters include Gadget Man, who invents all sorts of useful equipment, and the Professor, a wise man who continually explains the ways of the world to Gombby and his friends.

“Gombby’s Green Island is all about discovery: discovering the world, others and ourselves,” states the YouTube notes. “In every episode, Gombby and his friends will also learn about the importance of making healthy lifestyle choices and respecting the environment, about friendship and respecting others.”

The three videos I’ve posted on this page all deal with water issues, but there are plenty of other topics as well. The first one addresses concerns about drought, the second about saving a beached whale, and third about solving a mystery involving a recurring event on a beach.

I guess we can forgive the writers for posing simple and often technical solutions to complex problems, since some of these issues would be difficult to explain to a preschooler with a short attention span. At least the young viewer can begin to get a sense of how to solve a problem. And maybe it’s OK to wait until elementary school or later for a more complete explanation of the science and social values.

In any case, I think most people will find some amusement in “Gombby’s Green Island.”

Will fake killer whale fool sea lions in Astoria — and what if it does?

I was eager to find out if a 32-foot fiberglass replica of a killer whale could scare off a huge number of sea lions crowded together on the docks in Astoria, Ore.

I kept telling my wife Sue, “It’s not going to work” — and I had not the slightest idea that the motorized orca might capsize during its attempt to frighten the persistent sea lions.

About 1,000 people were on hand last night when a human operator drove the orca toward the sea lions, according to Associated Press reporter Terrence Petty. A passing cargo ship created a wake that rushed toward the shore and capsized the fake killer whale. And that was that for now. You can read the story in the Kitsap Sun.

I understand that the fake killer whale might be deployed again against the sea lions in August, when their numbers are expected to be high again. I still doubt that it will work — unless the operators can find a way to aggressively approach the sea lions and stay with the effort for an extended time. It might help to play recordings of transient killer whales — the kind that eat marine mammals. But my understanding is that transients don’t make many sounds when they are in their hunting mode.

I readily admit that I’m not a killer whale expert, but let me tell you why I believe that any sort of limited effort with fake orcas will fail. It’s not that sea lions don’t fear transients. In fact, if sea lions can be convinced that they are being approached by a real killer whale, their fear level could be quite high.

I’ve heard from homeowners who live on Hood Canal, Dyes Inlet and other shorelines that when transient killer whales are around, seals and sea lions head for shore, climb up on docks and even attempt to board boats to get away from them.

So I don’t know if the fiberglass orca will fool the sea lions in Astoria, but does anyone think that these marine mammals are crazy enough to jump into the water if they believe a killer is there waiting for them?

Amusing Monday: Verruckt water slide lives up to ‘crazy’ name

It’s been nearly a year since the opening of Verruckt, the world’s tallest water slide, located at Schlitterbahn Waterpark in Kansas City, Kansas.

Numerous videos reveal a thrilling ride, as three people are strapped into a raft and fly down a 60-degree incline from 168 feet up — higher than Niagara Falls — reaching speeds up to 65 miles per hour. The German word “verruckt,” which means crazy or insane, seems to fit, but I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone down this slide.

A year ago, just prior to opening, more than a few people were alarmed by the continuing delays, caused in part by safety concerns. During practice runs, before any person went down the slide, rafts loaded with sandbags kept flying off the slide in dramatic crashes.

A little less water on the slide slowed the speed and kept the rafts more stable. Still, to this day, riders report that they can feel the raft rising off the slide and going into free fall. The first video shows the initial trip taken by any human. On board were park designer Jeff Henry and ride engineer John Schooley.

Schooley admitted to Astead Herndon, reporting for CNN News, that the ride was more than a little nerve-racking.

“It was terrifying,” Schooley said. “It was great fun, but it was actually terrifying.”

Before the ride was finally opened to the public, most of the slide was enclosed with netting as an added precaution. Read “LiveScience” to see how they can make adjustments to the speed and stability.

The feeling of height and speed is shown well in a promotional video for Garmin action cameras (shown in the second video player on this page),

Another good depiction of the wild ride was shown by reporter Matt Gutman of ABC News. He was one of the first regular folks to go down the slide.

Verruckt is listed by Geobeats in the 10th position among the “World’s 10 Most Amazing Water Slides,” shown in the last video on this page. They all look more than a little crazy.