Amusing Monday: Super Bowl ads that never were

In sorting through the Super Bowl commercials that never made it to the television screen, I came to realize that these so-called “banned Super Bowl ads” fall into three categories.

There are those banned because they fall short of network and NFL standards in the eyes of the censors. There are those BANNED because they jump well over the line of acceptable family viewing. Finally, there are commercials that were never banned but are gaining attention on the Internet by just claiming to be.

In most cases, excess sexual innuendo or too much bare skin will result in a rejection notice, but there are lots of other reasons for banning commercials, as we shall see.

Under our water-related theme, a banned commercial for Dream Water (video player) is creative, but it should come with a warning for young viewers.

The original Super Bowl commercial for Soda Stream, featuring Scarlett Johansson, included the line “Sorry, Coke and Pepsi,” which Fox network officials required to be dropped. USA Today has the story.

In last year’s Super Bowl, the approach by Soda Stream was far more entertaining, but it took on Coke and Pepsi in a much stronger way. The whole ad had to be rewritten. See the original dueling soft-drink companies in 2013 along with the revised one with competitors’ names removed.

If that’s not enough controversy over soft drinks, there is also some international politics behind the company. See Sara Stroup’s explanation in Huffington Post.

Other commercials banned from the 2014 Super Bowl include those for Colorado Kush, a marijuana manufacturer, and Daniel Defense, a gun manufacturer.

A thoughtful commercial that could have inflamed the debate over the name of the Washington, D.C. football team was produced for the National Congress of American Indians.

Newcastle, a beer company, took a unique approach by outlining the epic beer commercial the company would have produced if it had money for ads. Instead, Newcastle presents a video about the story that could have been. Actress Anna Kendrick talks about how she wishes she could have been in the commercial and how she can’t even use the words “Super Bowl.”

HLG Studios, an advertising agency, made satirical would-be Super Bowl ads for Monsanto, “Picking up God’s slack;” NSA, “Smile; we know when you’re not;” and Swiffle, “Inequality sucks!”

After all this, you might prefer to watch the real Super Bowl commercials. Anthony Venutolo of The Star-Ledger in New Jersey provides all the commercials arranged by quarter in the Super Bowl. He also rates them as “the best, the worse and the odd.”

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