Amusing Monday: 25 bits of word play

Puns have been called the lowest form of humor, I think, because there are so many bad puns hanging around.

Some puns, however, are at least as good as the most clever jokes. I talked about this last year in “Water Ways” during the annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championship.

Now, I’d like to share some water-related puns from the website “Pun of the Day.” I seem to hear a few groans already, but I’m hoping most people will like these.

1. If we don’t conserve water, we could go from one ex-stream to another.

2. All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.

3. A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water. I thought he meant well.

4. For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.

5. The building inspector said whoever installed the water pipes was plumb loco.

6. The well-driller had a boring job.

7. An ex-sailor prefers to forget the days he spent playing cards in submarines, dismissing them as ‘so much bridge under the water’.

8. You would think that being a submarine captain would pay well, but I hear they can’t keep their heads above water.

9. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell into the sink.

10. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal. (Ron – Eldora, IA)

11. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank. This proves once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

12. The soundtrack for the killer whale movie was orcastrated.

13. The water department made a gallon-t effort to provide litre-ship during the drought.

14. A waterbed may just be the vinyl resting place.

15. Anyone hear about the dictionary that fell into the river? It was un-a-bridged.

16. The river crested when a factory spilled toothpaste into it.

17. To spot a glacier you have to have good ice sight.

18. When carrying your musical instrument over ice if you don’t C sharp you will B flat.

19. Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends.

20. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

21. It’s raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn’t reindeer. (Juls – Sweden)

22. What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure.

A few non-water puns:

23. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

24. The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner. There were strings attached.

25. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

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