Amusing Monday: Getting ready to exploit the moon
November 16th, 2009 by cdunaganNASA reported last week that data from its Oct. 9 moon mission demonstrates the presence of water on the surface of the moon. See LCROSS pages and/or LCROSS video.
NASA photo
I realized immediately that this discovery of water was both good news and bad news. On the good side, we’ll have something to drink when we take our vacations on the moon. The request “shaken, not stirred” will have real utility. On the bad side, we won’t be allowed to use any of this water until legal water rights are worked out. Based on our experience in Washington state, that will never happen.
Soon after NASA’s announcement, speculation about the political
and business implications of moon water began to hit the news
services.
Andy Borowitz of the Huffington Post reported that both the United States and China were developing ambitious plans to be the first nation to pollute the moon’s water.
He quoted a NASA official: “Our mission is simple: get a rocket up there, dump some PCBs in the moon’s water, and then return safely to Earth.”
China will take a different approach. As an official said: “We hope to pollute the moon’s water with run-off from a lead toy factory.” (See Huffington Post.)
Corporations are lining up to exploit the possibilities: Executives at the company that makes Evian bottled water say they are moving their operation to the moon. As one executive said, “The waters of Lake Geneva are SO yesterday’s news.”
Unilever intends to build a Popsicle plant on the moon specializing in a new flavor of frozen treat: green cheese. “It’s ideal,” an official said. “We’ll have both ingredients — green cheese AND water — in one place.”
Music producers have recorded a new version of “Moon River.” (It
seems someone revealed the secret years ago, but nobody paid any
attention.)
(The
last three items taken from “The Spoof.”)
One of the strangest stories to come out of the LCROSS experiment was the discovery of a water-filled marijuana bong on the far side of the moon, apparently left there from a moon walk in the late 1960s.
“It’s incredible,” said technician Anthony Culverson. “I knew lots of people were getting high in the 1960s, but I didn’t know they were getting THIS high!”
One observer noted: “Pink Floyd was trying to tell us something,
man. It’s pretty obvious. I mean, it was found on the Dark Side of
the Moon? The name of one of their albums? They smoked grass, man,
and if you believe in transubstantiation like I do, anything is
possible.”
(See Comedy Landfill.)
On a slightly more serious note, it’s not often that one can be entertained while learning about a science experiment. NASA folks really outdid themselves with this animated music video about LCROSS.
Scripps Interactive Newspapers Group
November 16th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Our local tribes have announced their ancestors were the traditional stewards or the moon’s water resources, that the moon’s water resources are already over-appropriated, and that they will protest any application for any use of the moon’s water resources.