Watching Our Water Ways

An unusual friendship began in June, 2008, and has continued through the seasons — sun, snow and rain — all documented on video and still photos by Isobel Springett.

I’m talking about a friendship between a dog and a deer. The dog, a Great Dane named Kate, adopted a fawn that was just days old and wandering motherless on Isobel’s property in Comox Valley, British Columbia.

In Isobel’s words:

“We named the fawn Pippin and the two were inseparable. Kate cleaned her, tried to nurse her and slept with her. Of course being a photographer, I documented all this and over the next 3 years amassed a large library of Kate and Pippin pictures.”

The videos show Kate and Pippin playing in the fields and the woods at all times of year. (Check out the “Kate & Pippin” channel on YouTube.) Eventually, Pippin ventured back into the woods, but she returned frequently to visit Kate. Last summer, Pippin became a new mother, bringing twins into the world, and the two fawns have become part of the story.

Later this month, the adventures will be published in a new book titled, “Kate and Pippin, An Unlikely Love Story,” published by Henry Holt of New York and Penguin Candada. Isobel’s brother, Martin Springett, wrote the text for the book, as well as the music for many of the videos.

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The U.S. Navy has developed a policy against using active sonar during training exercises in Puget Sound, but the Canadian Navy has no such policy — as we learned this week when loud pings were heard around the San Juan Islands.

After Monday’s incident, whale advocates were in an uproar over concern for killer whales, dolphins and other marine mammals. Jeanne Hyde was the first to raise the alarm and later placed a sample of the sound on her blog, “Whale of a Porpose.”

Michael Jasny of the Natural Resources Defense Council railed against the Canadians’ use of sonar in his blog on “Switchboard”:

“The simple fact is that these waters should not be used for sonar training. Period. Even the U.S. Navy — which has thus far refused to protect marine mammal habitat anywhere else on the west coast — has effectively put the area off-limits to sonar use.

“NRDC will appeal to both the Canadian and U.S. governments to ensure that this patently dangerous activity does not happen in this place again.”

The U.S. Navy policy against sonar use during training was solidly confirmed in 2009, when the National Marine Fisheries Service issued a permit for the Navy to use sonar off Washington’s coast. The permit did not include inland waterways.

When I inquired about this, Navy officials confirmed that they never requested authorization for training in waters east of Cape Flattery. For details, check out the story I wrote for the Kitsap Sun, July 29, 2009.

Contrary to some beliefs, the Navy did not say it would never use sonar in inland waters under any circumstances. In fact, in April of 2009, the USS San Francisco, a fast-attack submarine, left Bremerton after a refit and conducted “required training dives,” including the use of sonar that was reported as unusually intense. See Kitsap Sun, April 10, 2009.

How did that happen? The federal permit, according to the Navy, makes an exception for sonar related to “safety and navigation; testing; maintenance; and research, development, test and evaluation (RDT&E).”

The San Francisco incident fell under “safety and navigation,” according to Navy spokeswoman Sheila Murray.

I’m not sure whether the Navy has ever answered the question of how it intends to address potential harm to marine mammals when sonar is used outside approved testing ranges, for which environmental reviews have been conducted. Meanwhile, a coalition of environmental groups has sued NMFS for failing to protect marine mammals within testing ranges along the West Coast. Check out the news release by NRDC.

And so we return to this week’s incident with the Canadian Navy, which has no restrictions on where sonar can be used in training exercises, although the Navy follows a written procedure designed to protect marine mammals, according to Lt. Diane Larose of the Royal Canadian Navy. Download the procedure here.

That policy was followed early Monday morning when the Canadian frigate HMCS Ottawa deployed sonar in Haro Strait on the Canadian side of the border, Larose told me. The protection measures, said to be consistent with those of other NATO navies, include watching (with night-vision equipment if necessary), listening with passive sonar and other gear, and searching with airplanes, helicopters or submarines, if available.

It would be interesting to conduct a test to determine if these precautions really work. Can sentries aboard a ship find and identify a few killer whales in the dark across miles of water where islands may impede visual sightings? If not, then someone needs to rethink these procedures, because these are the conditions that were present on Monday when the Ottawa was using its sonar.

Scott Veirs, who helps maintain the Salish Sea Hydrophone Network, pieced together information from Monday’s incident with the help of Jason Wood, research associate with The Whale Museum. Here’s a summary of the analysis on his blog Orca Sound:

“Below are the compressed (mp3) recordings and coarse spectrograms of the sounds that were auto-detected this morning. They begin with a series of low frequency sounds and echoes that may have been from an impulsive source, like a detonation or explosion. Then the series of high-frequency pings occurs between 4:42:50 and 5:08:17 at three network locations: Lime Kiln (13 pings), Port Townsend (1), and Orcasound (1).

“While we are not yet sure if pings were detected at Neah Bay or on the NEPTUNE Canada hydrophones located near the entrance to the Strait of Juan de Fuca, it appears that the sonar ensonified a good portion of the eastern Strait of Juan de Fuca and southern Haro Strait.” (Emphasis added by me.)

Before the end of that same day, killer whales could be heard on hydrophones in the area and were later identified as our local K and L pods, according to reports made to Orca Network. The proximity of the whales to the exercise was disconcerting.

“It would have been more comforting if we had not seen them for a couple of weeks,” Scott noted.

The question on everyone’s mind relates to potential injury to killer whales and other marine mammals from the intense sound of sonar pings. During the 2003 incident with the USS Shoup, killer whale researchers in the area reported J pod fleeing the sound in a confused pattern, though Navy biologists reviewing the video denied that the orcas were acting unusual.

Ken Balcomb of the Center for Whale Research reviews that incident on a video for Earthjustice. Equally revealing but with less commentary is the raw video of the incident.

Studies are ongoing to consider the effect of sonar on a variety of marine mammals, but Scott Veirs points out that Navy’s sonar is most powerful at a frequency of about 7 kilohertz, which is within the sensitive part of a killer whale’s hearing range — “not the most sensitive, but close to it,” he told me.

“Mid-frequency sonar is a bit of a red flag, because the frequency overlap is really quite complete,” he said.

I was wondering whether the sonar pings heard Monday in Puget Sound were of any concern to the Canadian Navy. I shouldn’t have expected any introspection. Lt. Larose pointed out that nobody has reported seeing any marine mammals in the area at the time.

Will the Canadian Navy reconsider its policy in light of the U.S. Navy’s policy against training with sonar in Puget Sound? I posed the question and got this response from Larose:

“The Royal Canadian Navy (RCN) takes its role as environmental steward very seriously. The RCN’s Marine Mammal Mitigation Policy is reviewed annually to ensure that it reflects current scientific data, the capacities of Royal Canadian Navy equipment and environmental concerns. It is applicable to all Canadian military vessel wherever they may operate.

“Sonars found on board Canadian ships, submarines, and maritime aircraft, are different from that of our allies and therefore call for country specific mitigation policy.”

For years, more than a few marine mammal experts have been calling on the U.S. Navy to use its network of hydrophones to track endangered killer whales and other vulnerable species. It’s not enough, they say, for the Navy to post a lookout during training exercises when the Navy’s listening buoys have the potential of knowing with some precision where the whales are.

Fred Felleman, Northwest consultant for Friends of the Earth, says the Navy spends plenty of money filtering out biological sounds to detect the sounds of enemy ships. Similar algorithms could inform us when marine mammals pass within hearing range of Navy hydrophones.

“We’ve met with at least three admirals through the years to present them with explicit proposals,” Fred said. “They never said ‘no,’ but they never gave us an answer.

“Now that they are asking for permits from NOAA, they should be willing to make an obligation to help advance our understanding of the whales. The Navy knows this domain better than anybody. They are the best listeners on the planet.”

The Navy has been requesting and receiving “take” permits from NMFS with not much more mitigation that putting someone up on deck to look for marine mammals, Fred said, expressing his ongoing frustration.

He added, “It’s about time that the Navy stop asking for ‘takes’ and start finding ways of giving.”

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Killer whales are not people, so they cannot benefit from full protections provided to humans under the U.S. Constitution.

That was essence of a ruling handed down yesterday by U.S. District Judge Jeffrey Miller. The case was brought in the name of five captive orcas by a group that includes People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

I had not planned to write about this case, because the outcome seemed rather obvious. But I must take note of how seriously Miller handled this constitutional claim. In a seven-page ruling, he reviewed the history of the 13th Amendment, which outlawed slavery, and found that it applies only to humans. The following is the conclusion of the decision, the full text of which can be downloaded by clicking here:

“Even though Plaintiffs lack standing to bring a Thirteenth Amendment claim, that is not to say that animals have no legal rights; as there are many state and federal statutes affording redress to Plaintiffs, including, in some instances, criminal statutes that ‘punish those who violate statutory duties that protect animals.’ … While the goal of Next Friends in seeking to protect the welfare of orcas is laudable, the Thirteenth Amendment affords no relief to Plaintiffs.”

SeaWorld, which holds the five orcas, issued a statement noting that the judge took little time to issue his ruling, which “provides reassurance of the sanctity of the 13th Amendment and the absurdity of PETA’s baseless lawsuit,” according to the statement quoted by Huffington Post reporter Joanna Zelman.

A statement issued today by PETA shows no disappointment in the outcome of the case:

“There is no question that SeaWorld enslaves animals, even though the judge in this case didn’t see the 13th Amendment as the remedy to that. Women, children, and racial and ethnic minorities were once denied fundamental constitutional rights that are now self-evident, and that day will certainly come for the orcas and all the other animals enslaved for human amusement.

“This historic first case for the orcas’ right to be free under the 13th Amendment is one more step toward the inevitable day when all animals will be free from enslavement for human entertainment. Judge Miller’s opinion does not change the fact that the orcas who once lived naturally, wild and free, are today kept as slaves by SeaWorld. PETA will continue to pursue every available avenue to fight for these animals.”

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Making the rounds in e-mail, blogs and funny websites is an unusual collection of wildlife photographs bearing the introductory caption, “Don’t sit around the house. Get out and enjoy nature!”

Enjoy nature, indeed!

I don’t know how this collection got started, but it has morphed slightly over time as different people add their own touches. One of the easiest to scan is the set of photos on the Imgur photo-sharing website.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE PHOTO GALLERY.

While this certainly qualifies for this “Amusing Monday” feature, I have no idea who should get the credit. From the inscriptions on some of the pictures, they come from a variety of sources. I’m just glad someone with a camera was nearby when these things took place.

By the way, while most start out with the suggestion to “Get out and enjoy nature!” a few end with the comment, “Never mind; go back inside.”

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We should take a moment to recall another man of legendary proportion, a man who will be forever linked to the fishing history of this region. Chet Gausta, 95, of Poulsbo died Jan. 16, with a continuing record of catching the largest salmon ever reeled in and officially weighed out in Washington state.

Chet Gausta

Kitsap Sun reporter Josh Farley interviewed Gausta in 2005 when Josh worked at the North Kitsap Herald. Click here for his story, which recounts the excitement of Gausta’s hooking and landing the 70.5-pound chinook in the Strait of Juan de Fuca. His younger brother Lloyd and his uncle Carl Knutson were on board his boat at the time.

During the battle, the big fish broke the surface of the water for an instant, and Gausta recalled his brother shouting, “You don’t have a salmon; you have a porpoise.”

Here’s Josh’s recollection:

“Interviewing Chester “Chet” Gausta is an experience I will never forget. I was working at the North Kitsap Herald in 2005 and he invited me to his home near Scandia, where the salmon that made him famous hung mounted on his family room wall.

“That 70-pound whopper loomed over the entire room and Gausta’s smile about it — even 41 years after he’d caught it — never faded during our entire interview.

“It was so easy to imagine Chet, with his brother and uncle, exhausted, as they rumbled back to Seiku from the Straight of Juan de Fuca on that September day in 1964.”

Gausta’s name is still firmly embedded in the record books, where a variety of fish are listed. See the Land Big Fish website for details.

Chet Gausta, middle, shows off the big fish he caught off Sekiu in 1964. Chet's younger brother Lloyd, left, and his uncle Carl Knutson were with him on the boat.
Photo courtesy of Poulsbo Historical Society/Nesby

Chad Gillespie, a Kitsap Sun hunting and fishing columnist, visited with Chet Gausta about a year after Josh did. He wrote about him for the Sun on Sept. 12, 2006.

As a young man, Chet also was an all-around athlete who was offered a baseball/basketball scholarship to Washington State College. Instead, he played shortstop for the Poulsbo Town Team until joining the Armed Forces going into World World II. He later played on the Poulsbo VFW basketball team and participated in the 1948 national tournament. He was inducted into the Kitsap Oldtimers Hall of Fame in 1995.

His family submitted an obituary, which appeared in the Kitsap Sun yesterday.

While searching the Sun’s archives, I also found a letter-to-the-editor that Chet had written back in 1993. I was especially interested, because of the reporting I have done regarding Poulsbo’s Johnson Creek in 2008.

Here’s the letter:
Read the rest of this entry »

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Hood Canal has lost one of the region’s original environmentalists.

Andy Rogers

Andy Rogers, who died two weeks ago at age 94, might be surprised that I would call him an environmentalist — and he probably wouldn’t like it.

But when it comes to nature, few people could match Andy’s love for Hood Canal. He worked as a trapper, logger and fisherman and often talked about the bounty once found in Hood Canal but now lost to the advance of our civilized society.

Andy would never deny someone the right to move to the Hood Canal region, to build a house, to enjoy the water and woods. But he understood better than most about what development has done to the natural world.

“Every time anybody moves here, it gets worse — and that includes me,” he once told me. “You can’t do anything about it. People have rights. It seems our rights are going to kill us in the country.”

If Andy were alive this week, he’d be one of the first I would call to ask about whether humpback whales — like the one observed on Friday — ever showed up in Hood Canal. (See yesterday’s Water Ways.) Other longtime residents I contacted could not remember seeing humpbacks anytime in the past.

I once asked Andy about resident killer whales — the ones that eat fish. The National Marine Fisheries Service was about to designate “critical habitat” for our endangered orcas, and the agency was not listing Hood Canal as a critical place for them to live.

Andy thought back and remembered watching killer whales when he was younger — and even hearing them breach before he could see them. “We called them ‘blackfish’ in those days,” he said.

I relied on Andy Rogers to put Hood Canal into historical perspective for me while writing a series of articles called “Hood Canal: Splendor at Risk,” a project that grew into a book by the same name.

Much of the Hood Canal region was logged before Andy was born, but he lived to see many second-growth harvests and some areas that grew into harvestable trees for a third time. As a child, Hood Canal was a wilder place.

“When I was 10 or 11 years old,” he said, “I saw a sign that said, ‘No trespassing.’ I went and asked my mother what that was, because I had never seen that before. People went where they wanted to go.”

Some wild animals have been displaced by logging, but the changes were not permanent. Rogers told me that humans remain in control and can decide whether to tolerate cougars, wolves and bears. In days gone by, he said, the answer was simply to kill them on sight.

“Man’s the only one of the species who can control how many there are going to be,” he said.

Andy recalled when salmon were plentiful and arrived on a regular schedule.

“I knew the salmon would start up the creek about the 20th of August,” he told me. “Pert’ near all these stream were full of salmon by Labor Day.”

I think the loss of the salmon saddened him. He once suggested that all fishing be stopped for four years — something that seemed out of character for Andy, a fisherman. But the result, he said, would be an abundance of salmon. People would be able to see the possibilities and learn how to manage salmon for the larger numbers that were possible.

Andy lamented the loss of steelhead. He told me that he remembers when they were thick in all Kitsap County streams. At the time, I wasn’t sure I believed that, because steelhead are so scarce today. You generally go to coastal rivers to find them. But later, after steehead were listed as a threatened species, state biologists told me there was no apparent reason for steelhead not to survive here — except for the fact that there are no fish left to breed.

Rogers said it was poaching that wiped them out. He remembers a man who ran a black market for the prized fish, and this “outlaw” foolishly netted the streams until all the steelhead were gone.

Andy supported reasonable efforts to protect wildlife habitat, “but you cannot shut the door and keep people out,” he insisted.

I concluded my profile of Andy with a comment he made: “Id sure like to stick around and see what this place is like in 50 years.”

If that were only possible, I’m sure many people — including Andy’s coffee and card friends at Seabeck Store — wouldn’t mind listening to his stories a little longer.

At Andy’s request, no services are planned. A military honor ceremony was held today with his family in attendance. Andy Rogers was an Army veteran of World War II.

Survivors include his children, Albert Rogers, Jo Ann Belis, Barbara Smith and Charles Rogers, along with many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Jo Ann told me that she wanted to offer a special thanks to members of the Seabeck Community who had supported Andy through the years. His family placed an obituary in the Kitsap Sun on Jan. 25.

Andy Rogers offered many memories of Hood Canal through the years. This photo, taken in 1991 on Stavis Bay near his home, appeared in the book Hood Canal Splendor at Risk.

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A humpback whale made a rare appearance in Hood Canal’s Dabob Bay at the end of last week, then mysteriously disappeared from sight.

A humpback whale was sighted Friday in Dabob Bay by researchers Connie and JD Gallant.
Photo by Connie Gallant

As far as I can tell, Connie and JD Gallant, who were doing research on the bay Friday afternoon, were among the very few to see the humpback, or possibly two of them.

It makes you wonder how often large whales, such as humpbacks, come into Hood Canal without anyone seeing them, or at least reporting them.

“I was so thrilled,” Connie told me this morning as she described the encounter.

JD was motoring their 40-foot research vessel, the Sea Turtle, near Broadspit in the northern part of the estuary when he spotted one or more whales surfacing. JD stopped the boat, pulled up the water-testing meter, and yelled, “Whales off the port bow!”

Connie, who was below deck inputting data into a computer, ran up and began shooting photos. JD told Connie he believed there were two whales, but Connie only saw one.

Personally, I can’t remember anyone reporting humpbacks in Hood Canal. I phoned several folks I know who live on the canal, and nobody seems to recall ever seeing humpbacks. It is quite a different situation when one talks about visits to Hood Canal by gray whales or killer whales, which I’ve reported through the years.

My most memorable experience was in 2005, when a group of six transient killer whales spent more than five months swimming up and down the shorelines of Hood Canal, feasting on seals and sea lions whenever they got a chance. Those orcas stayed so long I thought they might make the canal their permanent home.

John Calambokidis of Cascadia Research told me that he has a general recollection of a humpback showing up in Hood Canal years ago, but he could not locate any written reports of the sightings. If someone was able to snap a picture of the underside of the fluke (tail) of a humpback, John said he might be able to identify the whale from a photographic catalog of humpbacks on the West Coast.

John tells me that a January sighting of a humpback whale is unusual, because most of the population is now on the breeding grounds near the Hawaiian Islands or else off the coast of Mexico. A few humpbacks are always around, he said, but it is worrisome when any animal shows up in a place where it is not expected.

Historically, one population of humpbacks spent the winters in the inland waters of northern Washington and southern British Columbia, but they were largely wiped out by commercial whalers, he said.

The West Coast population of humpbacks has been growing at about 7.5 percent a year since the early 1990s, according to Calambokidis. The general population now stands at about 2,000 animals, compared to about 500 more than 20 years ago.

As for the recent humpback sighting, I would like to get a report from anyone who may have seen this whale (or two) in Hood Canal or from anyone who may have seen one in the past.

Connie said the whale or whales that she observed Friday appeared to be “frolicking” — that is leaping out of the water, twisting and turning. She said they seemed to be about the size or her boat, about 40 feet long. That would make it a fairly young humpback.

The encounter lasted about 15 minutes, then the whales seemed to disappear, she said.

“We hung around for about an hour,” she said, “but they didn’t surface again.”

Connie and JD, who operate Greenfleet Monitoring Expeditions, have been collecting water-quality data — including information on dissolved oxygen — from Quilcene and Dabob bays.

The humpback whale spotted in Dabob Bay disappeared as mysteriously as it arrived.
Photo by Connie Gallant

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First, the folks at Sea World confine them in a tight space. Then trainers teach them tricks. Finally, they are expected to perform before a live audience.

I could be talking about killer whales, but I’m actually describing the activities of Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, cohosts of NBC’s “Today” show.

A big-screen TV was erected in front of a killer whale tank, so four orcas could offer their encouragement to Kathie Lee and Hoda. Unfortunately, the whales kept trying to change the channel.

At first, the training of the two TV personalities did not go so well. Julie Scardina, Sea World’s “animal ambassador,” had a hard time keeping the two focused on the task at hand.

Kathie Lee was worried about how her underarms looked and appeared to be focused on the huge TV rather than the simple movements she was asked to perform.

“Gee, I think I need to lose some weight,” she said. “Speaking of killer whales!”

The whales watching the screen were hardly amused.

Julie finally was able to get Kathie Lee and Hoda to pay attention, and she showed them how to turn and move their arms. It was a challenge for the two humans, but Julie taught them a little ditty that helped them perform the task: “Splash and turn… Splash and turn…,” they repeated over and over again.

The whales responded with encouragement, swimming the length of their pool, as the two co-hosts finally learned their new tricks.

Many people think it is cruel to confine killer whales in small tanks and expect them to perform for a few fish. But you should have seen the relief on their faces when the trainers finally took away the giant TV. Forcing the orcas to watch Kathie Lee and Hoda do their tricks seemed truly traumatic to them.

I hear that Sea World trainers are considering installing a TV near the killer whale pool and keeping it on all the time. Nobody knows if the whales would become addicted to television like lesser-intelligent humans. What shows would they want to watch anyway? Feel free to speculate.

Anyway, I want to thank blogger Candace Calloway Whiting for dredging up this video. Somehow I missed the original “Today” show segment from last summer.

To view the complete segment, which includes more on the killer whales along with footage of other animals, go to the Today show webpage.

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Flood control is no longer a primary objective of federal restoration work on the Skokomish River — but improving the ecosystem is likely to reduce flood problems for people who live in the valley.

The Skokomish Watershed Action Team (SWAT) surveys an area where the Skokomish River has wiped out all vegetation and left a massive gravel bar.
Photo by Steve Zugschwerdt

We don’t need to be reminded that the Skokomish is the most frequently flooded river in the state. Although I’m not sure how soon another river might take over that dubious distinction, it’s easy to see that a lot of time and money is being spent to get the river back to a more natural condition.

The Army Corps of Engineers, known for massive projects such as dikes, dams and dredging, won’t be adopting those sorts of projects for the Skokomish River.

Jessie Winkler, Skokomish project manager for the Army Corps of Engineers, explained it this way:

“Clearly, flooding is a problem in the basin. But because of limited residential and commercial activity, it would be very difficult to justify a flood-control project. In order to be justified as a federal project, the economic benefits must be greater than the cost.”

For further explanation, check out my story in Monday’s Kitsap Sun.

The good news is that the Corps has not turned its back on the Skokomish. In fact, the river is considered so important to the Hood Canal region that the agency is considering some large-scale projects focused on environmental restoration — including possibly relocating Skokomish Valley Road.

Other interesting ideas include creating sediment traps to capture gravel in selective locations, relocating existing dikes to create a wider river channel, forming new side channels to relieve flow on the main river and even aeration pumps to boost oxygen levels in Hood Canal.

Many of the projects designed for ecological improvement will also reduce the flooding problems.

A report, scheduled to be released in late spring or early summer, summarizes all information collected so far in the $4.7 million study of the Skokomish River watershed. The report will cover current ecological conditions, future ecological conditions without restoration and a list of potential restoration projects — including preliminary design, estimated costs and ecological benefits, Winkler told me.

Potential projects are only conceptual at this point, though experts have begun to look at locations along the river where different types of efforts may be fruitful. Further study will narrow the list of to a plan to be submitted to Congress for funding.

The upcoming report will begin to explore which of the following actions are most likely to succeed in specific locations:

• Remove or breach levees/dikes
• Construct setback levees/dikes
• Create salmon spawning habitat
• Reconnect wetlands, side channels, backwater areas, and tributaries
• Substrate modification
• Install aeration or oxygenation system in Annas Bay
• Reconnect dendritic channels in estuary
• Large woody debris
• Engineered Log Jams
• Fish passable weir
• Channel stabilization
• Riverbed and wetland vehicle exclusion
• Enhance vegetation – riparian & estuarine
• Control invasive species
• Channel rehabilitation or new channel creation
• Selective gravel removal on gravel bars
• Spot-dredge
• Sediment trap
• Culverts: a) add; b) remove; c) replace; d) upgrade
• Road modifications
• Rehabilitate bank lines
• Cool water diversion to Annas Bay

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Whether you love or hate the snow, a bit of humor always comes in handy during the recent weather we’ve been having.

The following are some quotes, jokes and a couple videos I gleaned from the Internet. Each item lists a source with more funny stuff. If you have a favorite winter joke, please add it in the comments section below.

“Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.” — Kin Hubbard (Quote Garden)

“There’s one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor’s.” — Clyde Moore (Quote Garden)

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” — Carl Reiner (Quote Garden)

“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.” — Patrick Young (Quote Garden)

Of winter’s lifeless world each tree
Now seems a perfect part;
Yet each one holds summer’s secret
Deep down within its heart.
~Charles G. Stater (Quote Garden)

“Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.” — Earl Wilson (Quote Garden)

“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” — Jeff Valdez (The Quotations Page)

“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘Up yours.’” — Robert Byrne (Quote Garden)

Some definitions:

Winter: The age of shivery and shovelry.

Antarctic: Snowman’s land.

Flaky Person: A man who loves to be outside when it snows.

Skiing: A winter sport learned in the fall.

(Source: Daffynitions)

It was so cold …

It was so cold … 
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

It was so cold … 
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!

It was so cold … 
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

It was so cold … 
Richard Simmons started wearing pants!

It was so cold … 
a flasher rushed up to poor Mrs. Flannigan – and described himself!

It was so cold … we had to chop up the piano for firewood – but we only got two chords.

Source: Jokes 4 Us

It was so cold … that even the kids at the mall were pulling their pants up. (Snow and Mud)

Winter Story

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. “If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. “For the past 30 years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”

— Sandee (Comedy Plus)

Bumper Cars

The Slush Man Cometh

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