Entertaining Stuff From Across the Atlantic

If you’re following the World Cup, or even if you’re not, check out this column in the Daily Telegraph on  England’s demise. It’s hilarious. Don’t want to steal all of its thunder, but here’s the last paragraph:
We are England, beacon of preternatural footballing cluelessness to the world, and to that right now there seems nothing useful to add.

And here’s another opinion piece. A sample:

The usual suspects are lined up, ready for the millions of eyewitnesses to the crime to identify, try and judge them. The court of public opinion is in full session.
The manager, of course, standing there with his Gucci glasses, his granite gaze and his £6 million, iron-clad contract, is first among them. Guilty. Then the players, these princes among men who turned out, four times, to be nothing more than kings of wishful thinking. Guilty.
And the FA, the “amateur” organisation who have failed to address the root causes of England’s consistent, predictable failure. Guilty. Let them all hang.

Those blokes are pretty serious about this soccer stuff, huh?

Here’s some more British tabloid reviews, as reported by the Associated Press:

British newspapers criticized England’s World Cup squad and called on coach Fabio Capello to quit after the elimination by Germany.
Sunday’s loss in Bloemfontein was marked by a refereeing mistake that denied England’s Frank Lampard a goal, sparking fresh calls for goal line technology or video replays.
But the papers’ anger was mainly directed at the players and Capello.
The Sun summed up the mood, devoting its front page to a banner headline: “You let your country down.”
The back page of the mass-circulation tabloid read “Time’s up Fab,” and printed a photo of the players alongside the statement, “Go — and take these losers with you!”
A Daily Mail columnist echoed the view shared by other papers with the headline: “A man of honor would resign, Capello.”
The Daily Mirror headlined “FabiGo” on its back page, adding: “England are humiliated but coach calls it a good performance … sorry Capello, you should quit in shame.”
The paper was no kinder on its inside pages, sneering at Capello’s salary. It led with “6 million pounds a year … but not worth a penny. Arrogant Capello has blown it.”
Having dealt with Capello, the Mirror then turned its fire on the players with a two-word headline across two pages: “Bloody shambles,” saying “Forget the goal that should have been given, forget heroic failure … this was simply pathetic.”
There was no respite for Capello and his men. The Daily Telegraph headline read: “Capello got it wrong and now must go.”
Its report began with “Time to go, grazie and arrivederci. Why? Not just because of 4-1 but because of 4-4-2. Even when stepping over the stiffening corpse of England’s World Cup campaign, Fabio Capello refused to acknowledge that his system was to blame.
“As Capello will not change his system, England must change the manager.”
For The Guardian, “England are outfought and outdated in falling to worst World Cup defeat.” It added: “England leave the World Cup and should take up immediate residence in a museum of football history. The tactics creaked as painfully as the veterans.”
Despite the outcome, England’s match against Germany drew a peak audience of 17.5 million people.