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3 thoughts on “Weighing in On Tiger’s Return

  1. I watched golf on and off through the Tiger era, and found him to be arrogant and childish at the same time. A bit of a McEnroe type of jerk, showing negative emotions as shots went astray. Now that I have a name that I can put to his childish tantrums, there is not even a hint of empathy left. I simply do not care if the man lives or dies, let alone wins another tournament.

  2. The speech Tiger wanted to give, cleaned up for a family newspaper:

    To my wife, I’m sorry. I screwed up but I’m not changing so you’ll either need to put up with this stuff or I’ll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup….sorry.

    To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my (ahem!) is none of your business. If you care….sorry. I don’t need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you’ll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10′ of the hole and drop puts that you couldn’t read in a million years. If that’s not good enough for you, go watch tennis.

    To the media. You (bad people) are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my (la de da) for all those years and then ripping me every chance you’ve had since Thanksgiving. (Bad on) all ya’ll. I’m glad I don’t have to take the time to sit and answer the same (nasty) questions over and over again.

    To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian (ahem)! You (bad people) come out ripping me when I’ve put more money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone’s been paying to see Jesper-(freeking)-Parnavik? Give me a (ahem) break. I’m almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it’s going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my (inferiors).

    That’s all I got today folks…..see ya at Augusta !….Oh and Bambi, if you’re listening I’ll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes.

  3. Though I believe Tiger cheated on his wife, I also believe that one of those so-called mistresses is lying about her alleged relationship, so she could cash in with a bare faced lie.

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