Need a Job? Espresso Gone Wild is Hiring.

Espresso Gone Wild of Belfair is hiring, according to an ad on Craigslist

For those who may not keep up with the latest trends in coffee sales, the “catchy” theme, mentioned in the ad, involves minimum coverage, maximum exposure of the baristas, who — at Espresso Gone Wild of Gorst — provide service with a smile and a side order of eye candy.

According to the ad (shouted in all caps) baristas earn $9 an hour and an average of $100 to $250 a day in tips. Applicants should be “reliable, energetic, upbeat … and willing to go the extra mile for the customer.”

But wait, Mason County Commissioners this week ruled there’d be no “Pastie Tuesdays or Fridays” in the fair city of Belfair. Commissioner Tim Sheldon, responding to citizens’ concerns about the Gorst baristas’ attire (or lack thereof) researched zoning code and found that such “erotic entertainment” is not permitted in any part of the Belfair urban growth area. County officials, including Sheldon, said Gone Wild’s owners had agreed to comply with regulations.

“I’m getting the feeling they’re willing to change their approach,” Sheldon said. “We certainly have no problem with an espresso stand, but as it was originally proposed, it was erotic entertainment.”

Efforts by the Kitsap Sun to contact the company have been unsuccessful.

Serving pastries in pasties may be erotic entertainment by Belfair’s standards, but is it art? An Iowa judge has ruled in favor of a nude dancing club owner charged with violating that state’s indecent exposure law. Prosecutors failed to prove the club wasn’t a theater, said the judge, citing Iowa law that “allows nudity at theaters, museums and other venues devoted to the arts or theatrical performances.”

According to City of Bremerton attorney Roger Lubovich, who I contacted for the first story, the city – where the stand is located – has no code addressing attire in espresso stands.

“We have no regulations on anything like that. This is new,” he said, “God, what next? Oh, man, kind of got to write a regulation for everything. … I’m sitting here blushing.”

The Kitsap County Sheriff’s office was willing to take a hands-off approach to Espresso Gone Wild.

According to the article, which ran Feb. 15, “Kitsap County Sheriff’s Deputy Scott Wilson said his department has received no complaints about the business.

‘I’m sure a lot of people consider this titillating,’ Wilson said. ‘Unless we get a complaint or we physically view it ourselves and say, ‘This is over the line,’ we’re not going to do anything about it.'”

The Gorst stand has attracted some unwanted attention. In April, workers reported a customer who took their picture without permission. And recently, a woman became angry with a barista for refusing to blow into her breathalyzer. Unclear in the second case is whether there is any connection between the woman’s request and the barista’s attire. Correction: The breathalizer incident took place at a nearby espresso stand Natte Latte, where the baristas wear hot pants.

In closing, let me just say that the concept of pasties raises two logistical questions in my mind:

“How do you keep them on?” and “How do you take them off?”

Ouch.

Here’s the full text of the ad.

ESPRESSO GONE WILD IN GORST IS GROWING TO BELFAIR AND NEEDS YOUR HELP
WE HAVE A GREAT “CATCHY” THEME THAT KEEPS OUR CUSTOMERS COMING BACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN (AS SEEN @ www.cowgirlsespresso.com)
WE ARE LOOKING FOR MOTIVATED PEOPLE THAT ARE READY TO WORK IN A VERY FAST PACE ENVIORNMENT AND THINK THEY MAY HAVE THE FOLLOWING TRAITS:
RELIABLE, ENERGETIC, UPBEAT, POSITIVE, HONEST, OUTGOING, DEDICATED, AND WILLING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE FOR THE CUSTOMER.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR FULL AND PART TIME POSTIONS TO BE FILLED LONG TERM.
WE HAVE THREE SHIFTS (MON-FRI 4 AM-NOON) (MON-FRI NOON-8) (SAT AND SUN 530 AM TO 7)
OUR EMPLOYEES AVG BETWEEN $100-250 IN TIPS DAILY
WE PAY $9.00 PER HOUR
IF YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE SOMETHING THAT WOULD SUIT YOU PLEASE E-MAIL PICTURE AND RESUME TO cadigone@hotmail.com AND THEN CALL 360-265-2984
HURRY INTERVIEWS WILL BE CONDUCTED SHORTLY