Peninsular Thinking

Heard on the newsroom scanner: ” … three youths on skateboards hanging onto the spoiler of a vehicle … going 45 miles per hour … down Sedgwick Road.”

The reporter in me said, “Well, there’s breaking news in the making.” The mother in me said, “I hope they’re wearing their helmets.”

By some miracle, likely law enforcement intervention, said youths did not end up the subject of a Code 911 item.

When I mentioned I might write a blog post about the stunt, fellow reporter Steve Gardner warned me that people might misconstrue the message and think I was glorifying the teens’ stupidity. So let me make this perfectly clear, if I were their mother, those kids would so be grounded.

A lot has been written lately about the teenage brain. David Dobbs’ article last fall in National Geographic outlined research indicating there’s an evolutionary purpose to the risk-taking behavior that teens seem compelled, despite their own better judgement, to engage in. Taking risks serves to prepare young people to become independent, leave home and start their own lives, the article states. That’s something I’m guessing most parents would endorse. But that doesn’t make parenting, especially parenting teens, any less scary.

From the time you welcome a child into your home through birth or adoption it seems life becomes one great video game in which hazards and threats pop up on the horizon either aimed at your child or toward which your child is rushing headlong. At some point, you’ve got to let go of her hand, the bicycle seat, the car keys … and the notion you ever really had much control to begin with.

Probably the scariest thing is remembering yourself at the same age. I will not hereby recount some of my teenage risk-taking behaviors because I don’t want readers to think I’m glorifying stupidity.

Happy Mother’s Day to all, especially the moms of those lucky lemmings on skateboards.

Chris Henry

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Sometimes what drives you to read a book goes beyond an intense interest in the subject matter. It’s a good day when the experience is a good one.

It was with Celeste Cornish’s The Voyages of Starship Sid.

Cornish, a former reporter who wrote for us and for the folks at Sound Publishing, tells the story of Sid Ivins, a fourth-grader at the fictitious Walter Mondale Elementary School in Bremerton. Sid, who wants to be an astronaut, has Asperger’s Syndrome, which leaves him highly functioning on the autism scale, but offers him challenges when it comes to his social skills.

Sid tells his own story:

“‘Where in the world did you find that many pairs of vampire teeth in June?’ Mom asked George.
“‘I ordered them online. Mom left her credit card out on the dining room table so I used it,’ he said, and mom cracked up.
“‘They come in packs of twelve and I wanted to make sure I had enough, so I ordered twelve packs.’
“‘That’s one hundred and forty-four vampire teeth,’ I said. ‘That should be enough to get us through the summer.’
“Mom laughed again, even though nobody told a joke.”

Cornish is familiar with the Asperger’s topic generally. She is a substitute paraeducator in the Central Kitsap School District. She wrote the book in part so people will have a better understanding of the condition.

“They don’t fit in and they know they don’t fit in,” Cornish said. “There’s nothing physically wrong with them, but it’s a hard for them. It’s a really hard road for these kids.”

The book, which is aimed at a younger market but is fun for adults as well, does do a good job of illustrating how the condition shows up. Cornish hopes when adults see the kid who tears up his homework because he believes that will make it go away, or won’t stop talking about one subject, or who doesn’t seem to have an “edit” feature in his or her brain, that they will pause and understand that this is part of what you get with “Aspies.”

Sid has trouble getting acceptance from some of his friends, too, including an annoyingly persistent bully named Julie Michaels. Yep, the bully is a girl. But Sid does have his friends, and his life is a full one. His future is promising. Cornish said the more high-functioning adults with Asperger’s can do well in technical fields.

The book does what Cornish hoped. It’s a fun read, for one thing, but I learned a lot.

Cornish, by the way, has lived in Bremerton since 2002 and is married to U.S. Navy Master Chief Bryan Cornish. The two are parents to an 11-year-old son, Joshua.

The book is available at Amazon.com. She can be reached at celestercornish@yahoo.com.

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I was asked to take a photo for tomorrow’s Kitsap Sun at the Family Christmas Eve Service for toddlers and very young children at Adventure of Faith church in South Kitsap.

This was the first year the church had tried such a service. Children were asked to choose a simple costume – shepherd, angel or wise man. And they were invited up onstage at different points in the service.

“It’s an opportunity for families with young children to celebrate a Christmas Eve service they can be a part of,” said Don Dilley, director of music and worship.

Now, there’s my idea of going to church … wander around wherever you want and just let it all hang out.

I didn’t get this little girl’s name, but she was the life of the party … one of several animated toddlers who welcomed Baby Jesus in their own way.

Or as Pastor John Foreman said, “All our children, no matter what costume they wear, are angels.”

However you like to celebrate the holiday, I hope I all goes well for you and your family. Merry Christmas to all, from Peninsular Thinking.

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Steven Holl's design of a museum of surf in France netted him a prestigious design award in the same year he is getting architecture's biggest honor.

Holl will receive the American Institute of Architects 2012 Gold Medal, which to me seems like the architect’s equivalent of the Pulitzer Prize or Oscar. Only in some ways it’s way bigger than that.

Consider that one of the past winners was Thomas Jefferson, posthumously, and you get the idea that no architect is ever out of the running for the prize. So Holl’s selection is even more impressive.

The award honors a lifetime of work and was announced earlier this month. From the AIA press release:

Holl and his firm, Steven Holl Architects have completed projects that tackle the urban-scale planning and development conundrums that define success in the built environment throughout the world. He’s able to work with diverse clients to get his projects executed, all while being a tenured professor at Columbia University.

Though Holl is a West High grad, he is on tap to be the designer of the Teen Wellness Center the city is planning for the site of the former East High School campus next to Albertson’s. Chris Henry wrote a the first story of Holl’s involvement in 2009, when it was first announced he would donate his work to get the center built in his old home town.

Holl will receive his Gold Medal in May at AIA’s national convention in Washington, D.C. The AIA press release follows, as does the release about his win for the work he did on the French surf museum.

(more…)

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I got this press release today on nominations for 2012 “Military Child of the Year,” a competition sponsored by Operation Homefront.

“Deserving young patriots,” between the ages of 8 and 18 years, can win $5,000. One child from each branch of the service will be chosen. Winners will be flown with a parent or guardian to Washington, D.C., for a recognition ceremony on April 5.

According to the press release, “Ideal candidates for the Military Child of the Year Award demonstrate resilience and strength of character, and thrive in the face of the challenges of military life. They demonstrate leadership within their families and within their communities.”

Nominations are being accepted online until January 15, 2012 at www.OperationHomefront.net/MCOY.

With our high military presence, Kitsap County would seem fertile ground of candidates for Military Child of the Year. I’d be interested to hear from families about how your children handle the challenges of military life, especially the deployment of a parent. Some days, I expect, just coping with day to day life can take a “heroic” effort on the part of youngsters. I’d also be interested to hear readers’ definitions of “leadership within their families and within their communities.”

Here’s the press release:

SAN ANTONIO – Operation Homefront today announced the opening of the 2012 Military Child of the Year Award nomination period. The award will be given to an outstanding military child from each Service – Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard. The winners, who each will receive $5,000, will be flown with a parent or guardian to Washington, D.C., for special recognition ceremony on April 5, 2012. Nominations are being accepted online until January 15, 2012 at www.OperationHomefront.net/MCOY.

Ideal candidates for the Military Child of the Year Award demonstrate resilience and strength of character, and thrive in the face of the challenges of military life. They demonstrate leadership within their families and within their communities.

“The sons and daughters of America’s service members learn what patriotism is at a very young age,” said Jim Knotts, chief executive officer, Operation Homefront. “Children in military families understand sacrifice and live with the concept of service. This is what the Military Child of the Year Award honors.”

Nominees must:
Must have valid military ID or currently be enrolled in DEERS
Must be between the ages of 8-18
Must be able to travel to Washington, D.C., for the ceremony on April 5, 2012
Finalists must have a background check to confirm the information provided in the nomination and must provide references.
Recipients of the 2011 awards are profiled in the book “Our Youngest Heroes,” available through Amazon.com.

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In Clark County, Wash. there has been an increase in the number of people divorcing, even though everywhere else in the country the numbers seem to be going down. The Columbian has a story on the matter, delving into why the numbers are down nationally and coming up with no solid conclusion as to why they’re going up locally.

This is what we call a trend story, the most frustrating kind because no one can seem to pinpoint why something is happening. There is speculation in the story that it could be because it’s easier to get a divorce in Washington than it is in Oregon. When Portland couples split up, say, one of them moves to Vancouver, because you only have to have been a resident of this state for a day to get a divorce. So while Vancouverites cross the Columbia to avoid sales taxes, Portlanders are crossing the river to avoid their spouses. In Portland the numbers appear to have gone down.

Still, would that explain the sudden jump? Did laws change recently in one state or the other? Did some divorce market maven get the word out, explaining what is yet unexplained?

We were wondering about divorce rates locally the other day, especially because people have been, you know, having more money troubles during the most recent three years. During 2010 I can say I knew a lot of people who suddenly decided to divorce. I’m not sure any of them had anything to do with money. One in particular took me completely by surprise. I have a call into the county clerk’s office to see if there are any telling trends. Could be a story coming on it. I’ll let you know what I find out.

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The Kitsap Sun has followed efforts of advocates for the homeless to establish temporary shelters in Kitsap County. One of the proposals, a tent camp on property of the Bremerton Salvation Army, is shortly to come to fruition.

The camp, to house families with children in 10 4-person tents, is set to open Jan. 12. The camp will be screened from view, and volunteer gatekeepers will monitor who goes in and out. Volunteers will take shifts to provide ’round the clock supervision of the camp, both to ensure the safety of those living there, and to make sure the camp runs in an orderly way, organizers say.

A volunteer training is set for 6 to 7:30 p.m. Thursday at The Salvation Army in Bremerton, 832 Sixth St.

Sally Santana, one of those involved in helping organize the camp, sent the following release, requesting volunteers. A background screening is required. The camp is to run for six months. They are looking to fill six four-hour shifts of two people per day. Volunteers can take more than one shift.

Here are the details from Sally:

The Salvation Army is recruiting for volunteers to serve at “Sally’s Camp”, it’s temporary tent camp for homeless families. It is due to run for six months only, beginning from the day it opens. We anticipate opening Wednesday, January 12.
We are looking to fill six four-hour shifts of two people per day, for a total of 24 people. More than one shift can be taken by a volunteer if they so choose.
Each person will need to:
1. Be at least 18 years of age.
2. Pass a criminal history background check with no convictions.
3. Complete The Salvation Army’s Child Safety Training program, which will be administered on Thursday, January 6, from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at The Salvation Army in Bremerton, 832 Sixth St.
4. Read and sign TSA’s Code of Ethics form.
4. The Camp Coordinator will also be at this meeting and give you the overview of your duties as “Gatekeepers”, ensuring the safety and security of the families inside the camp. Any questions you may have will be answered at this time.
We will open camp when we have one month of volunteer time scheduled.
For scheduling purposes, it would be very helpful if you could schedule out a block of time to volunteer. For example, 4 am to 8 am, Saturdays, in April. Or 6 pm to 10 pm, Monday thru Friday, for a week. We will, however, be very grateful for any amount of time you can give.
If you plan on attending, please rsvp to me (sally.santana@wavecable.com) as soon as possible so we have sufficient materials available.
Please forward this out.
Thank you so very much for your compassionate heart.
Sally”

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The South Kitsap Soccer Club will hold its annual general meeting today (Dec. 2) to elect officers for positions with terms expiring and to consider proposed changes to the bylaws. The meeting is at 6 p.m. at Marcus Whitman Junior High School.

It’s been a rocky year for the youth soccer organization … again. It seems like I’ve been covering or hearing about discontent within ranks of SKSC membership since I took over the South Kitsap beat.

Complaints I’ve heard in 2010 from several corners stemmed from an incident at the 2009 Kitsap Kickoff involving parents, coaches and at least one board member. Late in 2009, Brain Yarbrough, vice president of administration, was suspended by Washington State Youth Soccer from serving on the board, coaching, or even attending his children’s games for his alleged involvement in a general melee at the tournament. Documents I’ve read that mention the incident indicate it was an argument among adults that turned ugly but nothing that would constitute criminal behavior on anyone’s part. Yarbrough appealed the suspension to the United States Soccer Federation. Since he is listed on the current board and posted documents to the SKSC website as early as July and as recently as late November, it appears he prevailed in his appeal.

Board minutes from Dec. 30, 2009, indicate the board approved a payment of $2,700 to an attorney on behalf of Yarbrough. According to Suzanne Coffman of Guidestar, to whom I spoke in February, an expenditure such is this may be an allowable expense under “directors and officers insurance.” Although Coffman could not speak on this specific incident, she said it is not unheard of or unlawful for a nonprofit organization to provide legal protection to people, including volunteers, acting in an official capacity.

In other issues, the bylaws of the club were changed late in 2009, reducing the number of voting members on the board. There were complaints about this in comments on the Kitsap Sun website and elsewhere. A number of volunteers left the organization, which put out appeals for help earlier in the year. According to President Mike Kerr, they had regrouped and the organization was doing well as of this spring.

In May, SKSC created more waves by proposing to change the way it assigns young players to its recreational teams. The SKSC board got pushback from some parents (and threats to take their children to other clubs) for proposing to randomly assign players 7 years old and younger to teams, but they earned praise from others with an interest in youth soccer for being forward thinking.

Well, now, another soccer season has come and gone. Presumably members have been advised of tonight’s meeting, which would be an opportunity to voice one’s sense of satisfaction or discontent with the club. SKSC also has posted a survey on its home page seeking feedback on the 2010 season, including the policy of randomly assigning younger players to teams.

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The story I wrote earlier this week about two homeless teens speaking to a group of homeless advocates struck many nerves. One comment from “KitsapVoter” pretty much stopped me in my tracks.

Voter has a consistent history with the Kitsap Sun website. He (who mentions “the wife” in one comment) has posted 424 comments on stories on the website. From reading them, I get the impression of a no-nonsense type who leans right but is not a strict party-line voter, thoughtful, observant, concerned, self-reliant.

On the homeless story, Voter starts out saying, “These ‘homeless teens’ need to get a job and stop thinking of themselves as a victim. It is foolish and prevents them from escaping their purgatory.”

He then proceeds to describe his own youth and escape from an abusive stepfather, his first job as a dishwasher and sleeping in a bathroom and storage closet of the place he worked until he got his first paycheck (read the entire post below … do not skip this step!).

“I never once thought of myself as a victim nor did I ever lose enough pride to revel in the notoriety of being less fortunate than others,” he goes on. “Unlike these teens, I refused to trade one set of shackles for another instead relying on myself with the counsel of others to free myself from the desperate situation. That was over 40 years ago and many lifetimes away.”

The whole post left me pretty much speechless. I was also moved by posts from pjsfullhouse, a foster parent who has taken in 80 boys over the last 7 years. He or she said:

“Many of you do not understand how damaged many of these kids are. We have had maybe about 20 go home, this is done with much support. Some parents have gotten into drugs/alcohol, or just have difficult children and need the support to be able to parent their children. Many kids after years of ‘abuse or neglect’ do not know how to live in a family, so they would rather be homeless. When as a child you have looked after your parents and siblings it is pretty hard to have an adult parent figure tell you what and how to do things. Remember these kids have had experienced life a lot differently then we did growing up. We are still very naive about what kids have been through in their short lives. We are always stunned to find out what kids have been subjected to. So please try to put yourself in their place and see it from their side instead of how you grew up.”

These diametrically opposed postings raise multiple questions about the complex cluster of factors that lead to homelessness. KitsapVoter’s post raises the intriguing question, “Why are some children and youth resilient enough to overcome odds that would lay most of us low?”

I’m not going to pretend to have any snappy answers or neat conclusions. Thank you to both for sharing your thoughts and insights.

Chris Henry, reporter

KitsapVoter writes:

“These ‘homeless teens’ need to get a job and stop thinking of themselves as a victim. It is foolish and prevents them from escaping their purgatory.

My father died when I was 9, my mom remarried an abusive SOB who physically abused me to the point of repeated broken bones and hospitalization. He sexually abused my sister.

At 16, I hit the road to a southern city to escape. I promptly found a Braniff Hotel and applied for an entry level position, dishwasher. It took several days to convince the hotel to hire me, I even offered to work for free just so they could see before they hired me I would be a good employee.

I had less than 5 dollars to my name and no place to sleep. For two weeks I slept in the hotel’s basement bathroom stall sleeping sitting up on a toilet and cleaning up in the sink. A sympathetic security guard let me sleep in a storage closet for another week until I received my first paycheck when I was able to rent a room at the YMCA.

I also on my own, enrolled in a Catholic high school for free, even though I wasn’t a Catholic. Finished school, worked my way up the food chain at the hotel, the hotel helped pay for part of my post high school education at a rather prestigious southern university.

I never once thought of myself as a victim nor did I ever lose enough pride to revel in the notoriety of being less fortunate than others. Unlike these teens, I refused to trade one set of shackles for another instead relying on myself with the counsel of others to free myself from the desperate situation. That was over 40 years ago and many lifetimes away.

I know in my heart, being on my own, sleeping in a hotel bathroom was one of the best character building exercises one could encounter. It taught me the true values in life and gave me insight how to handle all circumstances life throws at you. I’ve certainly needed those skills in later life.

My prayers are with these profiled young adults but they are on the wrong track and the folks who sympathize with them for the wrong reasons are only inhibiting their transformation out.”

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Note: The following letter was sent to us late Thursday night by Terri Babcock. I spoke with her shortly before 2 p.m. and the sentiment at the end of the sentence was apparently still true. We will have a story on the main site later today about Enzo Williams and his family.

I am the mother of Kaitlin Williams, the grandmother of Enzo Williams who is fighting for his life at this moment, and apart from a miraculous healing from God, is going to die.

Harsh? Yes it is. Let me tell you what my last 24 hours has been like, and I am the grandmother. I can’t even begin to describe to you the horror and the despair of my daughter and my son in law as they watch helplessly, holding onto dashed hopes, leaning over that little tiny baby’s bed talking to a baby that can no longer hear or see them.

It started at 8 p.m. last night when I received a frantic call from my son in law. All I could hear was “Ma, Zozo, he’s not breathing!” I heard nothing else after finding out where they were. My husband and I barreled down Wheaton Way, flashers on, screaming at people to get out of the way. From McDonalds, it looked ominous, from KMart, it was horendous. The sheriff’s deputy told us to go through the side parking lot of Fred Meyer. I don’t remember much except screaming my daughter’s name, running through the intersection. I vaguely remember hearing people say, “the glass, the glass!” I was caught by one of the uniformed, wonderful men and women who were there who told me in no unfailing terms that I had to be strong. I wanted to see Enzo. I was told I couldn’t. I found the rest of the family in the back of the second ambulence. Safe, crying, but relatively unharmed. A miracle.

It is amazing in times of great stress and horrific happenings, the little tiny acts of kindness remain vivid. A family saw that I had no shoes, and went into Fred Meyer and bought me flipflops. I cannot tell you what that meant. A friend who just happened to be going home from her job at Harrison stopping. My friends showing up, one by one, as word spread. Seeing familiar faces, being able to cry. A friend putting her own shoes on my daughters’ feet. Giving her a fleece vest. Wrapping a scarf around my neck. Kindness and goodness and love in the face of horror.

But that baby, oh Lord, our baby. We drove to Mary Bridge, afraid more than we’d ever been in our lives. I cannot begin to even describe what seeing that little boy who is our ninth grandchild, with tubes and machines and beeping noises did to our hearts. Listening to our little Ulysses, the three year old, describe in exact detail about the big truck that smashed his car.

The doctor of the PICU at Mary Bridge was very straight. It’s bad. It’s more than bad. We heard words like CT scans, and swelling of the brain, and skull fractures, and after a while, you just stop, you can’t take any more. The tears just come and you don’t feel like there could possibly be any left, but there are.

Leaving my youngest daughter and the nightmare we have all been thrust in, driving home at 1 a.m., heavy silence. Putting the middle child to bed, the heavy sleep of a two-year old. Tossing and turning until finally getting up about 7, turning on the news, and seeing the mangled wreck of my daughter’s car in the headlines. Oh Lord.

Then, getting to the hospital. Getting a phone call from family, the forces are mounting. Family and friends coming from New York, Colorado, Idaho, California. 2600 hits on the blog. There is an overwhelming feeling in the background of the ugliness of support, of love, of caring.

Hearing the doctor’s bleak news at noon, witnessing more tests throughout the day. Finally, seeing the sensor that monitor’s our baby’s brain swelling removed, which was like a final verdict.

There is nothing to describe the feeling we had this afternoon, being allowed to hold our baby. Our minds telling us that he can’t hear or see us, but just knowing deep in our souls that somehow, some way, our Enzo knows that we are there, and even though we are facing the very real possibility that he will be taken from us, we are cherishing these moments. Lights and noise and chatter fade away as I hold him, his little body as comfortable to me as it was when I held him last week. It seems like an eternity ago.

At home, tonight, I write this because our family needs our community of Kitsap County to know that we are extremely overwhelmed and grateful to you. Tomorrow, we will make the drive again, and tomorrow is going to be probably the worst day of any of our lives.

I write this also because the next time you overhear someone say “hey babe, I was in a f*^*%ing accident!” you will be as sickened as I was when I read that comment posted by someone who heard this at the scene of the accident. My daughter screaming “my baby, my baby” and perfect strangers helping to save a baby’s life, to comfort the baby’s family, and then, you have that.

I want to express the admiration we have for the wonderful people of our Highway State Patrol, the paramedics and rescue squads that were calm, collected, and helped me to see that I had a responsibility to be the best mom I ever was, despite my broken, terrified heart. The ER staff at Harrison that I heard was beyond the best. And last, but not least, the dedicated professionals at Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital who could comfort, instruct and just calm jangled nerves and emotions torn to shreds.

We are proud and honored to live here in Kitsap County, amongst the finest people in the world.

I want to close with something that came to me today in one of the hundreds of emails and facebook posts: “Sometimes He holds us close~lets the wind and waves grow wild. Sometimes He calms the storm…at other times He calms His child.”

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