If I call my wife “Babe” I get no criticism.
If my wife’s former boyfriend, (Let’s name one: Monty) calls her
“Babe,” well I kind of have a problem with it.
Our stories last week about the Poulsbo Elementary School
principal placed on paid leave for using the “N” word, version one and version two, sparked quite the
outcry about our PC culture, ways of educating, equivalent words
and whether it’s fair that black people can use that word and no
one else can.
There are a handful of things about this particular incident
that are worth pulling out in ways that are easier here than they
are in a news story. And to be clear, I won’t use the word in this
piece or any of the stories. I see the point that when I write “the
N-word” I’m making you think it. I get that. Louis C.K. does a
comedy bit about that and the reason comedy is often so effective
is because of how much truth there is to it. But, at the risk of
taking a comedian literally, there are parts of his argument I do
not agree with. And I feel better not saying it, just letting you
think it. Or, if you don’t know what it is, causing you to go ask
someone. I’m OK with that.
So, back to the point.
1. No one has said anything negative to me about Claudia Alves,
the principal who is on paid leave. No one, that I know of, ever
asked for her to be disciplined. I can even see where what has
happened is technically not a disciplinary action, although I’m
sure it feels like it. Parents have understandably come to her
defense, and the parents at the center of this issue said they
never asked for any disciplinary action to be taken.
2. The issue for the district, the way I understand it, was in
the word’s repeated use. In fact, a North Kitsap Herald editorial makes
that case clear as well:
“The school district’s director of elementary education said
it was not necessary for Alves to use the N-word in explaining that
difference. And it wasn’t necessary for her to use the actual word
again, and again in discussing the issue with the student’s
What Patty Page, North Kitsap School District superintendent,
confirmed to me, as well, is that Alves used the word even after
the district talked to her about it. The district did not place
Alves on leave after her first use of the word. The way Shawna
Smith tells it, Alves used the word four times, at least once after
she had been advised not to. After the fourth instance, Smith
called district officials again. She did not ask for disciplinary
action. Smith told district officials, “She’s not getting it,”
3. Some were confused by what word caused the problem. It was
not “negro,” though that word was troubling to kids in the class
asked to use it several times in the play “Martin Luther King, Jr. 10-minute mini:
Overcoming Segregation.” In the play the kids were
asked to sing lines pulled verbatim from actual Jim Crow laws.
Here’s a snippet of the script:
NARRATOR #7: On living and dying:
CHORUS A: All marriages between a white person and a negro are
CHORUS B: It is unlawful for anyone to rent an apartment to a negro
when the building has white people living there.
CHORUS A: Every hospital will have separate entrances for white and
patients and visitors.
CHORUS B: At a cemetery, no colored persons may be buried in ground
apart for white persons.
Neither “negro” or the other “N-word” are considered acceptable
anymore, but one was never neutral. The Leonard Pitts Jr. column
referenced in the Herald editorial addresses the N-word.
“The N-word is unique. It was present at the act of mass
kidnap that created “black America,” it drove the ship to get here,
signed the contracts at flesh auctions on Southern ports as mother
was torn from child, love from love and self from self. It had a
front row center seat for the acts of blood, rape, castration,
exclusion and psychological destruction by which the created people
was kept down and in its place. The whole weight of our history
dictates that word cannot be used except as an expression of
contempt for African Americans.”
“Negro” was for many little more than a description of race, but
in the late 1960s began, and “began” is important, to fall out of
fashion. Slate’s Explainer column
offers this history:
The turning point came when Stokely Carmichael coined the
phrase black power at a 1966 rally in Mississippi. Until then,
Negro was how most black Americans described themselves. But in
Carmichael’s speeches and in his landmark 1967 book, Black Power:
The Politics of Liberation in America, he persuasively argued that
the term implied black inferiority. Among black activists, Negro
soon became shorthand for a member of the establishment. Prominent
black publications like Ebony switched from Negro to black at the
end of the decade, and the masses soon followed. According to a
1968 Newsweek poll, more than two-thirds of black Americans still
preferred Negro, but black had become the majority preference by
1974. Both the Associated Press and the New York Times abandoned
Negro in the 1970s, and by the mid-1980s, even the most hidebound
institutions, like the U.S. Supreme Court, had largely stopped
In the North Kitsap incident it was the lesser word that
launched the use of the worse one, but it was the repeated use of
the worse one that led to the paid leave.
4. It might seem a small point to many, but Alves was not
“suspended.” She was placed on paid leave.
5. Answering why it’s OK for blacks to say the word and not
other races skips over one point and deserves expansion on another.
The first point is that many blacks argue against its use. Pitts
did in his piece. “How can we require others to respect us when
this word suggests we don’t respect ourselves?” he wrote.
Neal Lester, an English professor at Arizona State University,
taught a course devoted to the N-word, and said this in a Southern
Poverty Law Center Teaching Tolerance
“The poison is still there. The word is inextricably linked
with violence and brutality on black psyches and derogatory
aspersions cast on black bodies. No degree of appropriating can rid
it of that bloodsoaked history.”
In addressing why there are different rules for non-blacks, I go
to the first two sentences of this blog post. I have permission to
say things to my wife that other people don’t. I mean, they
can say it, but they shouldn’t expect there to be no
consequences. If my wife and her sisters each called each other the
B-word (not “Babe”), that wouldn’t give me permission to say that
to my wife. I might not want my wife and her sisters to say that to
each other, but I would also not argue that I should have the
right, too. Nor would it mean the same thing. Her relationship with
her sisters is different than the one she has with me.
The N-word, when said from a white person to a black person,
carries a history with it that is different from the history when
one black person says it to another. Perhaps you agree with Pitts
that it still carries an oppressive energy no matter who says it,
but you can’t deny that it’s different depending on who’s saying
And I like this answer, which is technically a question: Why do
you want the right to say it anyway? Just don’t.
The video below comes from CNN and I think offers a pretty good
treatment of the word, as good as you can get in 10 minutes. It
addresses something we didn’t, the fact that there is no word you
can use for white people that has anywhere near the meaning the
N-word does. A word of warning: The N-word, the real one, is used
Following the first story I got a call from a woman who said she
was 92. She had no idea “negro” was no longer a word we use. She
also said “I never say (the N-word),” only she used the real word.
Later on in our conversation she said it again. Maybe that’s what
we should be talking about, the act of saying what we “never”
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