‘A Mind to Rhyme and Two Hype Feet’

In no way do I condone illegal behavior such as this, but give this author his props for being funny. Again, it’s someone who appears to need spray cans with spell check.

If you’re having trouble reading it, the picture was taken with a cell phone on one of our recent glorious days, and I use “glorious” for the benefit of those who abhor the sun.

It says “Hammir time,” but I think the author meant “Hammer time.” I sense it might have been “Miller time” for the writer, hence the bad spelling.

“Stop, Hammer time,” is a line from M.C. Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This,” a sensational piece of magic from 1990. The song’s accuracy is uncanny, especially the part where it says if you can’t groove to it you are probably dead. Seriously, if you’ve clicked on the link and are not doing spins and hops near your desk, what is wrong with you? The song also extols the near omnipotence of the performer, which qualifies it as a rap song.

It steals (It’s called “sampling” in the industry, but let’s not kid ourselves.) its music from Rick James’ “Super Freak,” and that alone makes the song’s greatness beyond debate.

Hammer was also known for his parachute pants, which sadly are out of style even in Port Orchard. This sign can be found near John Carlson Road in East Bremerton, until the authorities read this and remove it.

M.C. Hammer is scheduled to perform Saturday at the Emerald Queen Casino, so apparently Hammer is still too legit for the Admiral.

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