Did you know that tooth fairy money is special and can’t be replaced? Well it is and it can’t. You know how I know? I know because 17 days ago I was fishing poop quarter out of the toilet. Yeah…my life is glamorous like that! I am pretty sure Oprah will be calling me any minute to appear on a show titled either “A Behind the Scenes Look at Glamorous Mothers” or “Why Moms Drink”. I will sit on the couch with our fair lady and recount my morning. I can see it now…it’s going to be awesome. The following is how it all went down.
Cast of characters: Our youngest daughter, age 5, known on this blog as A. Our oldest daughter, age 7, known on this blog as L.
Time: Friday morning, 8:58am, we leave for school at 9am mind you.
A had lost her tooth the day before and that night the tooth fairy had left two quarters under her pillow. She packed those quarters around all morning and apparently left them in the bathroom at some point in time. L decided she “had to go” right before we were ready to walk out the door. As we waited for her to finish up we suddenly heard, through the closed bathroom door, the distinctive clink of metal on porceline. Apparenlty, A’s money had jumped off the bathroom counter, jumped into L’s hand, jumped out of L’s hand, and jumped into the poop filled toilet. Oh the tears, oh the drama! No biggie I said, I will replace it with a new quarter. NOOOOOOOOO!!!! (and I do mean NOOOOOOOOO!!!!) tooth fairy money is special Mommy and you can’t replace it. TEARS TEARS TEARS!
So a plan was formed. As the children were at school I would reach into the toilet (with gloves), fish out the quarter, and soak in bleach for 3 hours. By the time A returned from class it will be as good as new. And I did just that. After the required amount of soaking I must say that even though handling poop quarter gives me a slight case of the heebie jeebies, it is quite possibly the shiniest quarter in circulation. Not to mention quite possibly the cleanest. Do you know how dirty money really is? I do…I’ve seen it first hand.
After this incident, I feel I have now paid my mother dues and I should get a free pass for the rest of the month. If reaching in a toilet at 9:15 in the morning doesn’t get you that, I don’t know what does!
-Stacey is a mom of two and a wife of one who likes her family (good thing), traveling, reading celebrity gossip (I’m not ashamed), and cooking. You can read more about her and the crew at her blog Oh Happy Days.