I admit it. I am a lover of lists. I am especially in love with
lists that have lines through them. For example:
- Eat
chocolate
- Drink
coffee
- Keep too much
stuff in your purse
Sometimes I will add things to my list that I have already
completed…
- Take child to the
doctor. Late.
Hmm… visual encouragement, if you will. The following list was
inspired by my now 4 year old. One night she decided she need to
cut playdough from her hair.
By herself.
When she should have been sleeping. As I wrote in one
post, “Whoever said “Silence is golden”… never knew a 3 year
old who was supposed to be taking a nap.”

The followng list was originally posted at another site I write
for, but I think it is a list worthy of reposting… So. Here it is,
a list. Some items one may be able to check off, some may just be
worth noting. Feel free to print it out and keep it in your purse
*wink*…
1. Breathe. This is actually not exclusive
to just mothers. It is actually something I would advise for all
people.
2. Eat. I recommend bars of chocolate, but
chips are a good alternative.
3. Hide the scissors. No. Do not keep scissors in your home. Ever.
Hiding them does not help. Children are born with a scissor-seeking
GPS, and it seems that though hair from the human head is not
magnetic — it actually is magnetic to the cut of a pair of
scissors.
4. Acquire a taste for pressed
chicken. There will always
be leftover chicken pieces (a.k.a. “nuggets” or “dinos”) and
leftover pressed chicken may be your only sustenance on any given
day.
5. Aim low. It’s
just better that way. Trust me. It’s not that you should not set
admirable expectations, just set them very low. That way, things
will go better than expected because it’s pretty easy to step over
a low bar.
6. Less is more (very closely related to the
“aim low” category). Go without make-up more often than you
wear it. That way, when you DO decide to get gussied-up you will be
assured ample compliments. You know… the mom who is always
“perfect”? Well, pride comes before a fall and, one day, that
perfect mom will be seen without make-up. When she is — we gasp and
squint our eyes. Don’t be that mom. Indulge your appearance to a
long period of “natural beauty.” After a long period of time, go
for it! Brush on that blush and apply that mascara! You will be
amazed at the responses: “Wow! You look so pretty! Did you get your
hair done? Did you lose weight? When did you start modeling???” I
know this from experience.
7. Laugh. It’s
just good to do. Also brush your teeth, especially if you laugh
with a really wide gape and are prone to
spitting.
8. The person your 3 year-old is now, is not the person
he/she will become. In
short, your three year-old will probably not bite the face of a
peer when he is 27.
9. Banish scissors. Repetitive, I know, but I feel passionate
about it this. Also, ban the markers and maybe any vessel that may
be a fun idea for holding/transporting various forms of
liquid.
10. Silence is not golden. It is the sound
of danger and destruction. Press on with caution.
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