The Need for NeedMarch 28th, 2010 by Lisa Gsellman
The other day I was watching an episode of Cougar Town. The funny of this show, my gosh! And then the main character, Jules, says something that was for me, one of Oprah’s ‘Aha! moments.’ Jules, played by the eversogorgeous Courtney Cox, said:
Being NEEDED is my crack!
I never said it was a classy ‘Aha!’ Not even intellectual. Just self-reflective.
Being NEEDED is MY crack! It is! Wow. Oh, and to clarify, by ‘crack’ I make reference to addiction.
I need to be needed. I do stupid things to be needed. I create fake scenarios in my head of a dire situation in which I ALONE am needed to save the day. I do this. It is an addiction.
If you are hungry, I’ll feed you, what ever I have. My arm even.
If you are broken down on the road, I’ll give you a lift. I’ve changed tires, jump started engines, you can use my cell phone. Sometimes I search the ditches for someone who might need me.
If you need to be somewhere, and I need to be somewhere at the same time, I will take you and be late to my thing.
If you need a place to live…. yes. Done that too, will take you in.
Do you need a kidney? Hey! I’ve got two, you can have one of mine, no problem! I love to donate blood. AB+ anyone?
So it is fitting that I am an office manager at a school. The kids need me. For food, band aids, copies, questions. Lots of questions. Sometimes they might need to go for a walk with me, and cry. Sometimes they need hugs or high fives. I live for this part of my job. Staff need me too, for food, band aids, lots of questions, hugs, high fives, and even…chocolate. It is so nice to be needed.
But it is an addiction for me. You know how they say addiction is like a monkey on your back. Mine is like an imaginary cape. I know there are other moms out there, with imaginary capes.
The other day my addiction kicked in, pre-caffeination, which is when I’m most vulnerable. A student arrived late and her field trip had left without her, just 5 minutes before.
I felt my cape tug at my neck…”if we hurry, we can catch them!” So we hopped in my minivan bat mobile and called the departed group (hands free, of course) to secure a rendezvous destination. Green lights all the way.. this was our destiny. She would make it to the College Fair. Her future was in my hands. <insert dramatic theme music>
All the while, reality battled my addiction. I should have stayed at work. She was late, I was enabling her. BUT IT’S THE COLLEGE FAIR! Her future!
The field trip vehichle we were to meet up with said our rendezvous point would be off the exit to Bangor. In front of the base gates.
FYI… do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever pick this as a meet up destination. Your minivan full of teenagers will surely be mistaken for terrorists and you will be surrounded by military police in a matter of minutes. Meeting in front of Bangor is “suspicious,” according the MP. I was all…. “no, it is convenient!” But he was all…. holding a gun, so I was all…. getting the hell out of there while he checked the drivers license of our other staff person. *red & blue lights flashing* Happened to be our librarian. She is a saint. I am a fool. I immediately called my boss. I said, “Dude, I’m so dumb and I’m so fired.” He knew what was up (minus the MP situation) and said, “No Lisa, you are not dumb. You ARE too nice, however.”
Not fired. Whew. But will definitely hang up my cape for a while. I wonder if they make a NEED patch…..
And how much fun is Faceinhole.com?