The ‘these are not my pants defense’

brook shields
Want to know what comes between me and my Calvins?

A 47-year-old man arrested on a Pierce County warrant Wednesday offered a mind blowing reason for why a Kitsap sheriff’s deputy found a small bag of meth in his pocket: the pants he was wearing were not his.

In legal circles this is known as the “these are not my pants defense.”

The man was arrested in Port Orchard shortly after midnight when law enforcement officers received a call about a possible burglary at a house being remodeled, court documents said.

A Port Orchard Police officer was unable to get the man to come to the door. A sheriff’s deputy threatened to kick in the door and send a police dog inside. The man complied.

Officers discovered the man had been sent to the house by its owner to watch for burglars, but also found he had a felony warrant for malicious mischief.

While being booked in the jail, the deputy found the baggie of drugs in his right front pocket.

“As the bag was pulled out, (the man) said, ‘These are not my pants,’” according to documents.

A casual reader might think this is funny. That casual reader would be wrong. Dead wrong. Discovering that one is not wearing one’s own pants is a terrifying experience.

There are numerous accounts of other poor souls finding themselves railroaded by our criminal justice system after realizing they have been tricked into the pants of somebody else. And then had drugs planted on them.

Here is one. And another. And yet another.

So next time you are approached by a law enforcement officer, make sure you are wearing your own pants. If you are not, quickly strip naked.

One thought on “The ‘these are not my pants defense’

  1. This is probably something people don’t realize… that even if you are a contributor for the local newspaper you can still be accused of being either a lier, fraud, or even in some cases – a snitch. This wasn’t my comment. This wasn’t my story. –I’m sure the guy that was arrested knew for certain those weren’t his pants – the baggies, however, Were his… just not the pants.

    ‘Who is the guy Andy?’

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