Distracted driving is a problem for everybody else, but not you, you’re fine

Stock Photo
Figure A1 – Proper form for remaining undistracted: driver deploys “hand,” which distracting passenger may address

If you are reading this as you are driving down the road, pay close attention and read every word carefully. Don’t skim! It might save your life, or the life of somebody you love. Maybe take a sip of that coffee to wake yourself up, because you are going to want to remember this.

Starting Thursday, law enforcement in Kitsap County will be cracking down on distracted driving, especially those who talk on the phone and text while driving. That includes the Sheriff’s Office, the State Patrol and city police.
I said, cracking down on distracted driving. The tickets run upwards of $124.

Distracted, I said. Distracted, meaning people who are steering loaded missiles down public roads but not paying attention, especially those talking on the phone and texting. I said, talking on the phone and …

Speaking of distracted, those are cute sweat pants. Oh, and I see you have brought along a garden salad to eat while you drive. You must be very health conscious. Sure, I can pass the dressing. Would you like me to shake it up? Yes, bully idea bringing along the Bluetooth fondue pot. It plugs right into the cigarette lighter, you say? How clever.

Anyway, a 2013 study found that nearly one in 10 drivers on the road doesn’t have a clue of what they are doing. Oh, got another call? I’ll wait.
In fact, the study from UW Medicine’s Harborview Injury Prevention and Research Center said that about half of distracted drivers were texting. I said, UW Medicine’s …

Oh my, the egg of your Egg McMuffin just escaped its muffin stronghold. That’s quite a grease stain it left on your cute sweat pants. What do you mean, “Let it go, man?” It’s just under the gas pedal, go ahead and reach down there and grab it. I’ll wait.

Anywho, distracted driving has been compared to drunken driving, as it …
I said, distracted driving … Oh, that guy searching for a song on his iPod just cut you off, give him the finger. I don’t think he noticed. Now update your Facebook status. Here’s a suggestion: “They will give licenses to anybody these days.” That will teach him.

What were we talking about again?

One thought on “Distracted driving is a problem for everybody else, but not you, you’re fine

  1. Cute commentary.

    Reminds me, vividly, of the day when I was waiting, stopped behind the car in front of me, wishing to make a left turn, when a quick glance into my rear-view showed a face, mouth open if horror, and then I, my two-ton car, and my little dog were catapulted into the woods on the other side of the intersection.

    But, although she had totaled her grandmother’s car, and mine, and caused fire, sheriff and ambulance to come to the scene, and following medical bills, she did (I hope) get her radio tuned in. Or not.

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