On Notice Goes PresidentialJune 22nd, 2007 by Steven Gardner
Steven Gardner writes:
We missed the Kitsap Caucus “On Notice” rip-off of Stephen Colbert last week because I was watching Bremerton out a window at Harrison. I’m back and so is the board.
Hillary Clinton tops the list despite this week’s stunning announcement that she’d earned the endorsement of Bainbridge Island Democratic Congressman Jay Inslee. The New York senator who wants to be president makes the list for her Soprano’s video. I’m not among those who hated the video, but it’s a lot of build up for . . . a song. An official campaign song. Quick, how many “official campaign songs” can you name?
I covered a GWB campaign event in 2000 and heard a John Mellencamp song. The first Bush used “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Reagan referenced “Born in the U.S.A.,” which thrilled Bruce Springsteen no end. The first Clinton liked Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.” I think that ended up being better for the band than it was for the president, because they started getting regular gigs again. Were any of those songs labeled “official?”
This leads us, of course to number two on the list, Celine Dion. May I remind the American people that Celine Dion is a Canadian whose first language is French? I don’t hate Celine like most of my friends do. In fact, I think she’s pretty darned talented. But if you can never run for president, your song should never be considered for the official campaign song either.
I’m calling all the undeclared candidates “the backup quarterbacks.” When your favorite football team has a terrible offense, your favorite player is the backup quarterback, because we all know the team would be doing so much better if he were in there. These guys — Newt, Bloomberg, Fred Thompson, Chuck Hegel and perhaps even Al Gore — would risk their current popularity if they actually declared. Did I forget anyone?
There is worthwhile commentary to be found at the 614 Division Street blog, but I’ve seen the author provide much information on it that threatens to reveal his or her identity. I prefer the mystery. At least, if the author gets outed I want someone else to reveal it. I don’t want it to happen because 614 gives too much away.
Procrastinating commuters waiting to get their “Good-to-go” passes could be in long lines in July when the bridge opens.
If the bridge gets renamed, those in charge could be in for a lot of gripes if anyone other than Bob Oke is considered.
Ken Griffey, Jr. makes the list because we love him, but not if he does too well this weekend. There’s nothing like your brother coming into town and immediately becoming your dog’s favorite person. May Junior do well, but the Mariners sweep.
Port Gamble has a Civil War re-enactment this weekend. In other news Kirk Gibson hits a home run off Dennis Eckersley every time I watch the video. The South is on notice because it should be clear that no matter how many times that war gets revisited, the South still loses.
Remember, “You’re on notice” means “I’m watching you,” not “You’re dead to me,” which is a different Colbert subject. Send me your nominations for things or people you’re getting a little suspicious of, or getting a little tired of, or you think are not getting the attention they should. Feel free to duplicate other peoples’ nominations. If something gets nominated a lot, it’s more likely to get on the board.
Then again, this isn’t scientific and is subject to the blogmaster’s personal bias and sense of what’s relevant and/or funny. The board will be updated as frequently as once a week.