Weather police are stunned this evening to learn of a brutal weathernapping of a popular season in the area.
“Summer has been missing for at least two weeks,” Matthew Leach, blog writer and local weatherman, said Tuesday evening. “I didn’t report her missing any sooner because I figured she’d be back. She’s known for leaving for a little while and then returning. But citizens of Kitsap County are getting concerned.”
She was last seen on Thursday, June 4th when high temperatures across the region soared into the 80s and 90s. Then suddenly, with little warning, a local weather gang, The Massive Marine Pushers, moved through the area, causing temperatures to plunge nearly 30 degrees bringing summer with it.
“We’ve told ‘The Marine Pushers’ to move through quietly and to not take any seasons with them,” Police reported. “They blatantly disobeyed our requests and now we must take action.”
Leach did want to keep the spirits high across the area, however, noting that Summer has been weathernapped before.
“Need I mention June 2007?” he exclaimed. “The week after school got out temperatures struggled to make it out of the 60s with one 80 degree day but overall it was cloudy, wet and cool. The following July and August featured impressive heat with high temps almost hitting 100 degrees on July 11th. The rest of that summer was very warm and dry.
“How about June 2008? How can we forget? Temperatures were still stuck in the 50s until mid month when temperatures warmed only a smidgen. It wasn’t until the last week of June that temperatures really started to get warm un the 70s and 80s. That following July was very warm with a cooler August, but overall it wasn’t a summer to complain at all about.”
Police would like to note that even though school just got out, we did have an impressive dry streak from May-June that lasted almost a full month with temperatures in the 80s and 90s. While the current cool weather regime is kind of annoying, as a whole it hasn’t really been that bad. And July/August in Western Washington are almost always warmer, drier and more like the summer we all know and love compared to June.
Police say to keep heads high and confidence strong as they track down The Marine Pushers.
In the meantime, Leach reports: “For the next week we should anticipate a mix of different weather systems: cloudy and rainy tomorrow, showers Thursday, mostly sunny Friday, cloudy on Saturday with sun and showers for both Sunday and Monday. Temperatures will be quite spring-like in the upper 60s to mid 70s. At least it’s comfortable, right? Not too warm or too cold.”
Police would like you to call 1-800-SAD-SUMR if you have any information regarding this tragic weathernapping.
Matthew Leach/Kitsap County Weather Police
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