Why Can’t We Be More Like Children?
I know the topics of “diversity” and “cultural awareness” can result in different reactions from different people. Some hear the words and get fired up, defensive, frustrated, angry. Some hear the words and their eyes glaze over and they think “here we go again.”
This photo of (left) Abbygayle, 3, and Joy, 2, sum up what we, as adults, need to do better — love each other for who we are and not what we look like. Do you think these toddlers have any idea what the history is between black and white in this country? They may realize that their skin is a different color, but probably only because they’re starting to learn the colors of the rainbow, and not because society has told them what it means to be white or what it means to be black.
Wednesday night I attended an event hosted by the Bremerton School District at Emmanuel Apostolic Church. The event was a chance for those interested in the community to hear Dr. Samuel Betances, a world renowned speaker on the topic of diversity, speak.
While Betances speech Wednesday night focused more on his life and how diversity played into shaping him to become the man he is today, he had a lot of powerful catch phrases, if you will. Many of his statements hold deeper meaning than the first impression they give. I realize because he was speaking to a group of mixed company: men, women, teachers, politicians, stay at home mothers, students, white people, black people, Native Americans, Hispanics, Asians, etc., his message had to be as broad as the audience he was addressing.
I think had he been targeting one group — as he did during the day Wednesday with members of the Bremerton School District — a great conversation could have been held on many of the ideas he presented. But even without that in-depth debate, he still presented a new point of view when it comes to looking at diversity and accepting each other’s flaws.
One concept he presented was the idea of forgiveness, and giving gratitude before voicing our grievances. He made everyone in the room say “thank you” to the “white man” for what he’s done for America. He also made everyone in the room say “thank you” to the “black man” for what he’s done for this country as well.
Here are some of the statements made Wednesday that left an impression on me. Some are repetitive, but I think it is through repetition that we realize how important things are. Most of the statements were made by Betances, but some were from other leaders and citizens who attended the event.
“You can’t lead what you don’t know.” — Linda Jenkins, Pro tem Superintendent of the Bremerton School District, introducing Dr. Betances and why the district asked him to come to Kitsap.
“Diversity means that you have the cultural competency to reject rejection.” — Dr. Betances
“One thing you have to do is unlearn how to teach diversity. You have to teach diversity in a way that’s not assaulting or insulting to those you’re trying to teach.” — Dr. Betances
“Diversity is learning the cultural competency to get along when we have not had the history of getting along.” — Dr. Betances
“Diversity is the process that helps us find common ground.” — Dr. Betances
“If you only stick to your own kind, you can’t grow.” — Dr. Betances
“Diversity is our ability to understand that we need each other. Every country that doesn’t understand it needs each other is committing social suicide.” — Dr. Betances
Reaction from his speech:
“I did a lot of learning. I learned what he said about forgiveness. Diversity for me, because of my age, was race relations. His presentation was about forgiveness, which I hadn’t heard before.” — Pastor emeritus Sam Rachal.
“I liked the idea that diversity is not looking for the negative but the positive. The bottom line is we need each other.” — Cherry Rachal, retired school teacher; part-time employee of the CK School District.
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Scripps Interactive Newspapers Group
August 21st, 2008 at 9:04 pm
“…“If you only stick to your own kind, you can’t grow.” — Dr. Betances…”
But are we happier without ‘own kind’? I ask because I recently saw a program listing the ‘Happiest Country’…and it sure didn’t put us anywhere near the top of the Happy list.
One of the Happiest Country was Denmark. Why? Because they have little diversity. Almost all in Denmark are Danes who understood each other. They have no friction to speak of and share the same values.
If memory serves Singapore was on the list for its rules of conduct. People knew what to expect if they broke a ‘rule’…and few did. The punishment for breaking a rule/law was swift.
People are apparently happier knowing the rules and that the rules are enforced.
We learn and grow with diversity but we are not, apparently, ‘happier’ for it…according to the tv show.
Sharon O’Hara
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Sharon,
It’s hard to rate “happiness” because “happy” has a different meaning for different people based on their personal experiences.
In relation to Dr. Betances comment, I took it to mean this:
If I only hung out with people who were just like me — tall, blonde, late 20s, from a “regular” upbringing who liked all the same things as me — then I wouldn’t grow as a person. If I only stayed in my neighborhood, or town, and never went other places to see different lifestyles, then I wouldn’t be growing as a person. It’s not to say I would be a bad person, but I wouldn’t be pushing myself to my fullest potential.
By traveling to other countries, putting myself into positions where I don’t know anyone, and becoming friends with people who had upbringings different than my own, I learn more about the world, and more about myself. To me, that is a learning/growing experience.
Differences don’t mean you have to have friction. I don’t think Denmark is a happy country because they have little diversity. There are a lot of factors, including socio-economic, education, government, etc., that likely contribute to that country’s happiness.
I would guess if you introduced “diversity” into their culture, and kept everything else the same, they would still be happy.
The more you step outside yourself and your comfort zone, the more likely you are to grow and learn things about yourself you never realized.
With that growth, if you’re willing, could also come the opening of your mind, and your ability to be more accepting of other people, cultures and races.
That’s what I took his comment to mean.
–Brynn
September 5th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Children don’t have to earn a living in a market where people are given preference because of thier skin color.
September 10th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
It sounds like it was a good meeting. I’m sorry I missed it.
I’ve been to several of these ‘diversity’ talks. It seems like they were always about celebrating diversity, instead of sharing diversity and celebrating commonality. From what you wrote, I would have enjoyed it.
September 15th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
“…The more you step outside yourself and your comfort zone, the more likely you are to grow and learn things about yourself you never realized….”
Well said Brynn, well said.
I would add that growth and awareness can’t happen until we move away from our comfort zone into new adventure, new experience…and for the fun of it.
Thanks for the good response – I agree.
Sharon O’Hara