Can You Pull Over? I Think I’m Going To Gorst

THOMAS JAMES HURST / THE SEATTLE TIMES

A diseased mongrel limps through the post-apocalyptic remains of Gorst looking for a place to die.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel for affordable housing led the Seattle Times to feature that appropriately-named Gorst as its “neighborhood of the week.”

(Gorst, “You get what you pay for.” Next up, Skyway, “Assaults Aplenty” and Sunnydale, “We Smell Like Pig Poo.”)

Home to Kitsap’s only strip club, the Times tries to sugarcoat the hard realities of living in the crook between Bremerton and Port Orchard, which looks like a great place to make methamphetamine without arousing the envy of your neighbors.

This from the Times:

“To be honest, most of them are fixers,” said Sue Harding, a real-estate agent with Reid Real Estate in nearby Belfair, adding that two of them were manufactured homes.

And the $69,400 home? “A true fixer — don’t know if it’s livable,” she said, but noted that it came with “good septic” and natural-gas heating.

Homes in Gorst typically are sold as starter homes or investment property that’s rented out, Harding said.

You might not even know it’s in Gorst by its description since it’s usually referred to as being “around” Port Orchard or Bremerton, she said.

“Everything seems to be growing into Gorst,” Harding said.

Growing into Gorst? Is that like growing into a pair of sweatpants? Or growing into a
hockey jersey?

The article does provide some interesting facts about Bremerton’s unincorporated neighbor, including that it was named after a person named Gorst, and isn’t an onomatopoeic expression for the feeling one gets standing in a minimart check-out line listening to a canned country song while buying a refrigerated pork sandwich.

One thought on “Can You Pull Over? I Think I’m Going To Gorst

  1. please oh please don’t forget the combination gun/liquor store about to open in a gorst near you. Puts the finishing touch on the neighborhood don’tya think?

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