Bremerton, The Great Satan

Please,  Port Orchard, Don’t Hurt ‘Em

For those who haven’t been following the sideshow to the larger SKIA issue, the Port Orchard Independent has picked up the torch and blurred the line between the press and insane chamber of commerce posturing.

Read here the latest volley, an unsigned editorial called, “It’s about time we stood up to Bremerton.”

It’s entertaining reading, in a pandering sort of way, but I think those who have been producing these items are painting themselves into a corner.

The imagery has become grim, and in the latest installment, metaphorical violence is being advocated. I half expect the next editorial to have the headline: “Bremerton must pay with its blood”

“And to carry the playground bully analogy to its logical conclusion, the feeling here is that a retaliatory punch in the nose might be just the thing to persuade our neighbors across Sinclair Inlet that Port Orchard simply isn’t going to take any more of this guff.”

The editorial later urges P.O. Mayor Lary Coppola, who publicly has said cooler heads should prevail, to “(take) off the gloves and fight back.”

The problem with all this isn’t journalism ethics or an over-reliance on cliches.

(I counted 10 cliches in the last editorial on this matter – I didn’t bother to count with this one, however, this line stands out as nearing the hackneyed saturation point: ” … if the bullies over there get the idea Port Orchard will simply roll over and decline to fight for its rights on the smaller tract, how long will it be before they go for all the marbles?”)

The problem is: Where do you go from here?

The next logical step is advocating actual violence, urging Port Orchard residents to board the foot ferry with pitchforks and torches and hunt down the Bremerton monster.

But in order to whip people into a frenzy where they would actually physically assault Bremertonians, who might not even notice their attackers are actually from Port Orchard takes more than just a rather dry issue like SKIA. Remember, we look deceptively similar, and our religions and languages are almost indistinguishable.

I have a solution.

It’s a three-step process, but it just might work.

First, compare Bremerton to a terrorist state. You’d be surprised how much mileage one can get out of this. Talk about how Bremertonians hate Port Orchard’s freedom. Tell the residents of the charming town, with a great downtown, that they are perfect and invincible, and the only way they could miss out on government largess is because they were stabbed in the back.

Additionally, emphasize all the hardships of living in Port Orchard. The famine, the disease, the seagulls, and blame Bremerton.

Second, compare Bremerton to Satan. Tell the people of Port Orchard that Satan is in Bremerton, that tunneling under the city opened a portal to hell, and it’s too late for Bremerton to save itself so it must be cleansed by fire.

Third, require all Port Orchard residents to tattoo “P.O.” on the foreheads. That way they can tell who doesn’t belong.

If anyone questions this plan, declare them traitors and “Bremerton lovers” then disappear them and their whole families.

That ought to keep them in line.

20 thoughts on “Bremerton, The Great Satan

  1. The folks I know in PO/SK are embarrassed by the Jackass comments. They’re embarrassed that their formerly respected PO Independent paper would be party to inane child play and I wonder that the KS picks up on it.
    Is the stupidity really ‘news’?

    What would happen if the grandstanding by the Big Blather was ignored?

    Would KING or KOMO jump in to take the ‘Garrulous Blathering Mystery’ writer for a cup of pasties coffee?
    …wondering… Sharon O’Hara

  2. Gotta agree with MissSharon on this one Andrew.. how about doing a re-write on the article without all the hoopla..


  3. I knew the subjects in the photo were going to be either hooligans or WTO protesters. Hooligans it is.

    They say in the accompanying piece that rumors/lies, i.e. gossip, is the worst kind of “mobbing” or bullying. Distasteful as all this he said, she said back and forth stuff is, it takes the power away from the biggest bullies of them all. The back room people, the people who politely cover their mouths with the backs of their hands while viciously shredding somebody’s reputation. It is the most insidious, disgusting, cowardly kind of bullying possible. It’s evil and it’s usually directed at leaders, children, or people who refuse to participate in it.

    So, anyone that opines, debates, ridicules, or weighs in out in the open like this, my hat is off to you. Mr. Rhodes, Mr. Binion, and Ms. O’Hara, thank you.

  4. Binion here:

    Thanks for writing. I don’t say that enough. I really appreciate your comments.

    The thing is, over-the-top rhetoric from a newspaper really isn’t “news,” that’s why this stuff should stay on the blog, and get coated in hoopla, and not go into the paper. It’s interesting, I think, because media coverage and commentary can, for better or for worse, affect policy, and it can become part of the story. For that reason I think it’s helpful to document it and put it into context. However, at this point, the three items I’ve seen aren’t really that bad. The Independent was just speaking figuratively, using metaphors to drive home their point, and I am just poking fun at them. They are not Slobodan Milošević, and I am not Mike Royko (although I wish I was).

    Again, thanks for reading/writing,

  5. I do think you’re funny.

    I read an essay by Christopher Lasch called The Lost Art of Argument. He suggests that information put out by the media is not really information until it gets debated or bandied about a bit. Does that mean, God forbid, that the talking heads shows and the blogs are producing the only real information? Eeeek!!

  6. Port Orchard could stand up to Bremerton by embracing coffee barista girls with pasties.

    Karen that is not the 1999 WTO Protests. I should know. I was there.

  7. PO/SK is no longer capable of standing up to anyone… except by sly innuendos and anonymous articles drawing attention to nothing…
    Sharon O’Hara

  8. Careful Andrew…..some hardcore Port Orchard enthusiast types, might actually take you up on some of your suggestions;)

    WTO protesters…..riot inspiring mob hooligans…..I fail to see the difference.

  9. Watch out Bummertowners, you don’t think our enormous SK dog park is just for recreation do you? We are training the attack dogs to set the pack on you SKIA-grabbing, pasty-ogling condo weenies. The only thing that can stop us now is a couple of roundabouts…

  10. Thanks for that interesting link, BlueLight. I was not aware that Port Orchard lost 200 feet of its waterfront in the Bremerton Marina “deal”. Is anyone from the Sun going to follow up on this? (Paging Mr. Binion.)

  11. The whole story, Andrew… because I’d like to know how and when the Bremerton Port became boss over the PO Marina?

    They couldn’t have taken over without PO’s consent, therefore what did PO get out of the exchange?
    Sharon O’Hara

  12. Sharon,

    The Port of Bremerton operates both the Port Orchard and Bremerton Marinas.

    In exchange for the Suquamish Tribe “not opposing” the permit for the Bremerton Marina’s recent expansion, the Port of Bremerton gave them 200 feet of moorage on the Port Orchard Marina. The Port also agreed to pay the Suquamish Tribe $7,000 per year “in perpetuity”. Forever. They also made a one-time cash payment of $10,000 to the Suquamish Tribe’s “Net Repair Fund”.

  13. How did it come about, Blue Light, that the Port of Bremerton operates both marinas?

    When did it happen?
    I understand the deal with the Suquamish Tribe…but I fail to understand how the Port of Bremerton came to be responsible and can commit the PO Marina?

    How about learning ‘the rest of the story’ before judging who got what?
    Sharon O’Hara

  14. Sharon,

    Perhaps this will help. From the website:

    “In 1889, the new state constitution declared that the beds of navigable waters belonged to the people, and gave the Legislature power to designate which of those beds would become harbors. In 1911, after citizens lobbied for the right to control access to the waterfront, the Legislature passed the Port District Act, allowing the people to form a port district and elect commissioners to govern it.”

    “In September of 1911, the Port of Seattle was formed, becoming the first autonomous municipal corporation in the nation to engage in port terminal operation and commerce development. The Port of Grays Harbor was formed shortly thereafter. Since then, more than 80 port districts have formed in Washington, all contributing to the state’s healthy trade economy. The timeline gives the history of Washington Port formations.”

    “Currently, there are 75 public port districts in Washington. Large and small, east and west, Washington’s ports are active in many different areas of economic development, providing jobs and economic stimulation for their communities.”

    Kathryn Simpson

  15. What does it mean when it says, by my name, “Your comment is awaiting moderation”? I don’t see that when I post in other Kitsap Sun blogs??

    Kathryn Simpson

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Before you post, please complete the prompt below.

Please enter the word MILK here: