Monthly Archives: February 2008

There’s Always A Premium on Dignity


Whoever said there aren’t high paying jobs for people who want to work apparently hasn’t been keeping tabs on the Little Nickel.

This week’s Peninsula/Kitsap issue features an ad calling for exotic dancers to work in Alaska for minimum wage and tips.

I called the number and inquired about job opportunities for men. I’m a reporter now, but becoming a stripper would mean more money a step up in prestige.

The receptionist was very nice and suggested that male dancers might have a better chance in the big city. That is, Anchorage.

“Male dancers don’t go over too well here,” she said.

Who Will Speak For The Trees?

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The Bremerton Parks Department is seeking input at a March 6 planning workshop to discuss the options for tree replacement at Evergreen Park near Park Avenue, a statement from the city said. The meeting starts at 6 p.m.

Read the un-Binioned press release HERE.

For background on the plight of the park read Sun Reporter Chris Dunagan’s story HERE.

The meeting is to be held at the Norm Dicks Government Center, 4th floor, in the WSU Conference Room.

Bremerton: We’re Working On It


Washington CEO magazine has featured Bremerton on its March cover.

Complete with multiple references to “Bummertown,” a svelte Norm Johnson posing on a condominium balcony and a horde of Kitsap/Bremerton ads clustered close around the story, it is an existential ode to all that Bremerton would/could/should be.

It’s a well-written piece, and even if you’re not a “decision maker” worthy of reading a magazine called Washington CEO, you can get it free by clicking here.

But the article includes this racially-tinged passage that sticks out like a decommissioned aircraft carrier:

“For a generation, (Bremerton has) been the forgotten stepchild of Puget Sound, the grimy black hole across from the gleaming Emerald City, a destination on a ferry that nobody takes. It’s the Oakland of the Northwest, a Harlem to Belltown’s SoHo, a Compton with rain.”

I like the ferry reference, but it’s interesting that Seattle, one of the whitest cities this side of Reykjavik, is “gleaming.” But in comparison, Bremerton, “a grimy black hole,” is compared to Oakland, Harlem and Compton, all historically known as having prominent African American communities.

Some readers may walk away from this story thinking Washington CEO equates working class burgs with being prominently African American.

In fact, Seattle has a larger percentage of blacks than Bremerton as of the last census, 8.4 percent to 7.5 percent, respectively. Of course, that kind of ethnic diversity isn’t visible in places where most Seattle CEOs hang out, I would imagine.

Perhaps better comparisons could be made to Tacoma and Everett, two cities with working class populations and significant seafaring cultures that are now competing for those middle-class homebuyers being forced out of King County by rising housing costs.

There Will Be Bruises


There will also be some beer drinking and some rock n’ roll listening, as the Slaughter County Roller Vixens fake not the funk this Saturday in their third bout of their first season.

Kitsap County’s women’s roller derby league will host the battle royale at Sk8town in Port Orchard. Doors open at 5 p.m. and the bout kicks off at 6 p.m. An afterparty with live music will be held at Shooterz Pool Hall at 1750 Village Lane SE in Port Orchard. Admission is free with ticket stub from the bout.

Two bouts are on tap, according to a statement from the Vixens.

Slaughter County’s Terrormedixxx will tangle with Tacoma’s Dockyard Derby Dames’ all-star team, and Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers will step up to the Oly Rollers’ Prima Donnas.

Sk8town is located at 1501 Piperberry Way SE in Port Orchard.


Day Of – $15 for adults, $10 for children

In Advance – $12 for adults, $7 for children

Click HERE to buy in advance.


Direct Action Gets Dissatisfaction


Hungry, Hungry Anarchists

As you’ve no doubt heard, lefties broke four bank windows here with bricks early Tuesday morning.

This is big news, apparently, and shook some people’s faith to the core. For others, I suppose, it’s comeuppance for overdraft fees.

Seattle television stations raced across the pond to get video of the broken glass (shield your eyes, kids) and the tersely worded note. It had two swear words in it, which the stations made a point to mention, as if they were shaming the critical theory majors for their base vocabularies.

It’s the second instance of left-wing sabotage/direct action we’ve had in Bremerton since December, when the Naval Avenue KFC got tagged and vandalized by people claiming to be members of the Animal Liberation Front.

What I found most interesting was the quote used in the KOMO story, of a glass business owner (ironically.)

“They do these things, it kind of makes a guy nervous like myself,” the man said. “My daughter’s getting married and hopefully will have grandkids and I just want to live in a safe community.”

Personally I’m more afraid of hippopotamuses than anarchists. Hippopotamuses are big and ill-tempered and do nothing but make a community unsafe. They won’t just break bank windows, they’ll tear up your house. And its curtains if they sit on you. Don’t mistake their twiddling ears for a friendly gesture. Unlike anarchists, you can’t mention Frantz Fanon to a angry hippopotamuses and expect to get a reprieve, a long, boring, self righteous reprieve.

Hippopotamuses will just take you out. Clean and simple, before you can say “death of the author.”

Far be it from me to criticize the pangs in the heart of a glass salesman when he contemplates such disregard for window panes. I feel the same way when I hear about burning books.

But I will hang my head out the school bus window and say that in addition to Binion’s Patented Hippopotamus-Be-Gone charms that I sell on late-night infomercials, Binion Industries is developing a Anarchist-Be-Gone charm, that when worn around the neck, is guaranteed to keep your daughters and grandchildren safe from brick toting post-modernists.

I expect to make a fortune selling them to television stations.

Ed’s West Sound World

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Evel Knievel represents the Kanye West Sound

Consolidating three distinct fire and rescue agencies isn’t easy.

However, picking a single name for the new super agency that may emerge on the opposite end of the process is not one of the harder parts.

On Tuesday the regional fire authority’s Planning Committee voted unanimously on its name: West Sound Fire and Rescue.

It seems like an obvious choice, and Bremerton Fire Chief Al Duke said more than 80 percent of firefighters, commissioners and committee members voted for the name.

But it wasn’t always such an obvious choice to describe our neck of woods, where the skyline of Seattle is more prominent than in Renton, but farther than a crow could fly culturally.

In fact, the committee credits a certain longtime Kitsap Sun reporter, Ed Friedrich, with coining the term.

“We believe the term West Sound, used to describe our region, originated in the late 80’s when it was first coined by then Bremerton Sun prep sports reporter Ed Friedrich to describe our sports coverage area in Kitsap, Jefferson and Mason counties,” says a written statement from the regional fire authority.

Despite being coined by a journalist, the new name went over like sliced bread, Bremerton Fire Chief Al Duke said (Duke didn’t actually say anything about bread, sliced or otherwise). More than 80 percent of those with a say, including firefighters, commissioners and appointed committee members, voted for the name.

“Now the hard work begins,” he said, noting that sub-committees have been tasked with making recommendations about 1) combined finances, revenues and expenses 2) combined governance board 3) combined volunteer association 4) combined labor groups and 5) combined organizational structure.

More info is available at the new West Sound Fire and Rescue Web site.

“If the Planning Committee is able to reach consensus on how these three fire departments can consolidate and meet the vision and strategy, then final approval will be put to the citizens served by these three organizations before it becomes a reality,” the statement said.

That means those served by the Bremerton Fire Department, Central Kitsap Fire and Rescue and South Kitsap Fire and Rescue will get to vote on whether the consolidation goes through.

The Planning Committee will meet March 4 at 4 p.m. at the Kitsap Readiness Center at 1211 Carver St. in Bremerton. The meetings are open to the public.

However, within the newsroom, there is some disagreement over who actually coined the phrase. Sports Editor Chuck Stark said he believes Harlan Beery, former assistant sports editor, actually came up with “West Sound.”

“They were both on the sports staff at the same time,” Stark said.

Then again, it’s just a name. What did Shakespeare say about the smell of a rose? Would they smell as sweet if instead they were called Ed or Harlan?

It’s Goat Time


I don’t … I can’t …

I really don’t know what to say about this. I want to think up something funny, something that will weave the strange, asinine elements of this story into a blog entry. I can’t. Maybe I’m too tired, maybe I’m not smart enough.

So I have decided to let you, gentle readers, do the work for me.

First, read this. It is the press release from the independent media office for the Animal Liberation Front, a group of “terrorists” who wear camo, balaclavas, and cuddle cute, pink piglets.

Received anonymously
February 12, 2008

Goats Liberated from Future Animal Abusers of America (FFA)
Carpenteria, CA Gets First Visit from Animal Liberation Front

In the early hours of Saturday, Feb. 9th 2008, three young goats were liberated by the ALF from the Carpinteria High School FFA in California. After cutting through one lock and one fence, we took them from their small pens with concrete floors and carried them to freedom. They were taken to a place where they will be able to live their lives free from cages and fences, able to enjoy sunshine and grass as opposed to steel bars and concrete floors. As we brought them to their new home, they immediately stopped crying, began eating the grass around them, and enjoyed their surroundings. They listened to us and licked our faces as we soothed them before leaving the three of them on their own. They will no longer be victims to animal exploitation or slaughter for human greed.

The FFA is an organization that teaches kids from a young age how to carry on the (f*****) up tradition of anthropocentrism, where they are taught how to raise animals for exploitation, abuse, and eventually murder. FFA is known for keeping animals in small, dirty, unkempt, confined places where they lack nurturing and stimulating interaction with other animals.

As long as the FFA continues to raise animals for the meat, dairy, or egg industries, the ALF will continue to take actions against these practices. -ALF

Now, read this. It is the Associated Press’ follow-up.

High school’s kidnapped goats found wandering in hills

Thursday, February 14, 2008

(02-14) 05:03 PST Carpinteria, Calif. (AP) — Three goats abducted from Carpinteria High School by animal rights activists have been found wandering in a rural area where predators roam.

The Animal Liberation Front took responsibility for freeing the infant goats, which are part of the school’s Future Farmers of America program.

A day later, hikers found the goats and notified Santa Barbara County authorities.

Sheriff’s Sgt. Alex Tipolt says the “young and defenseless” goats were found in an area between Carpinteria and Montecito where mountain lions and coyotes are known to inhabit.

Animal Liberation Front spokesman Jerry Vlasak says the school was exploiting the animals.

The whole reason I even got the first press release list is because of an incident at the Bremerton Kentucky Fried Chicken, where vandals trashed the building with anti-meat/pro-vegetarian slogans. The press office could not confirm or deny the group was involved.

You Don’t Have To Take It, Bremerton!

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Ever think the people who post anonymously after Kitsap Sun stories are too high-

Ever wonder if that person you cut off in the Wal-Mart parking lot ever got over it?

Ever think you’ve figured it all out and everybody else is just stupid?

Have I got the spot for you.

Craigslist hosts a message board for rants and raves from Kitsap County, and if you’re not shy about some racist/sexist/cruel/profane/violent language and a whole lotta angry, powerless people futilely lashing out at a world that has cast them aside, your cup runneth over. With bile.

Click here to behold the creepy glory.

It’s more mindless than prime time television and about as intellectually stimulating as standing in line at the Department of Licensing. In other words, it’s a fun place to waste time that should be spent sleeping/reading/eating/working/living a meaningful life.

There are other interesting Kitsap niches on Craigslist. But I might have to let you figure them out for yourself. This is a family newspaper, er, blog.