Bainbridge Police Blotter: “It’s not my poop!”


This week, a pantless man denied producing the “considerable amount” of feces on a porch that he was apparently using to stage an early morning caterwaul.

Also this week, a cyclist threatened to kill a inconsiderate driver, a motorist used engine noise to harass a pedestrian, and a wooden horse made a mysterious getaway.

The blotter’s below….

July 1
Indecent: A 35-year-old homeless man was arrested for disorderly conduct and indecent exposure on Winslow Way just after 6:30 a.m. A neighbor reported that the man was yelling and partially nude. Police arrived at the 200 block of Winslow Way to find the suspect stumbling and yelling on a porch. His pants, underwear, shoes and socks were lying near him, and it appeared he had defecated on them. “There was a considerable amount of very fresh-appearing human feces” on the porch, which produced an “overwhelming odor of exrement,” an officer reported. The suspect smelled strongly of alcohol and appeared extremely intoxicated. The suspect immediately stressed that the “poop” was not his. He began yelling “It’s not my poop!” when the officer told him he was under arrest for indecent exposure. Police dressed the suspect in a protective suit before placing him in a patrol car. On the way to the county jail, the suspect repeatedly threatened to kill the officer and his family.

June 28
Crash: A 78-year-old Bainbridge woman was injured when she ran her car into a gate at Woodward Middle School just after 4 p.m. The woman didn’t see the gate, which opens onto Sportsman Club Road. One end of the gate entered her windshield during the crash. She suffered a cut on her face from broken glass.

June 27
Harassed: A Bainbridge woman called police to report that a young man revved his engine at her while she walked alongside Agate Point Road. The woman had complained to the man’s father regarding an earlier incident in which the young man had driven in a reckless manner. The incident was documented.

Threatened: A Bainbridge man called police to report that an unknown cyclist had threatened to kill him outside his Manitou Beach Boulevard home at around 6:15 p.m. The man said he had driven around the cyclist, who was using a large amount of Valley Road to ride his bike. The cyclist followed the man to his home and yelled at him for nearly hitting him on the roadway. The cyclist mentioned it was the third time that day he had nearly been hit by a car. The cyclist reportedly insulted the man for being overweight and threatened to kill him at a later date. The man called 911 and had his son follow the cyclist in a vehicle. The son lost sight of the cyclist at the Bainbridge ferry terminal.

June 24
Painted: More than a dozen areas in Ace Hardware’s paint section were found to have been spray-painted.

June 23
Theft: A life-size wooden horse was stolen from a Battle Point Drive property during the evening. Police were initially alerted about the horse after someone observed it had been moved from a fenced yard to a location near the roadway. Less than an hour later, the horse was gone. The horse was worth $1,000. Police helped the owners move a second horse to a secure location.

Theft: A 28-year-old Bainbridge man was arrested for taking $8 from a tip jar at a Winslow Way pizzeria just after 6 p.m. The suspect told police he had put a dollar in the jar but must have accidentally taken several more out. Police found a marijuana pipe and eight folded dollars in the suspect’s pockets. He was cited for theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.

June 22
Theft: A Bainbridge woman reported that her computer was stolen from her truck sometime during the day while visiting Bainbridge, Suquamish, Poulsbo and Silverdale. She thinks her truck was locked when unoccupied. The computer was valued at $4,000.

Drunk: Police drove home a 66-year-old Bainbridge woman who had come to the police station to complain about one of her tenants. Officers noticed the woman had the odor of alcohol. She admitted she had a small amount of alcohol to treat a medical condition. A breath test indicated she was too intoxicated to drive home.

Trespass: A 41-year-old Seattle woman was arrested for trespassing and resisting arrest at the Bainbridge ferry terminal just after 1:30 p.m. A terminal manager called police to report that the woman had been at the terminal for about five hours and was not communicating with staff. The woman initially refused to speak with police. She struggled against officer when they tried to remove her from the terminal. They were able to handcuff her once they pulled her to the ground. She insisted she was waiting for someone to pick her up and that she had done nothing wrong. An agreement was reached with her and the terminal manager to allow her to take the next ferry to Seattle.

Overdose: A 25-year-old Renton man overdosed on heroin at a Euclid Avenue home just before noon. He admitted injecting heroin and then taking a nap. He was found unresponsive by his girlfriend. He was taken to a nearby hospital.

June 19
Burglary: Dozens of items were stolen from a home on the 11000 block of North Madison Avenue. Missing items included china dishes, jewelry, a hydraulic jack, 10 tank top shirts and leather boots. The victim waited a few days to report the burglary because some Bainbridge officers “don’t like her.”