Police blotter: A broken nose is not normal

This week, police found a man sitting in a chair at home and bleeding profusely through a nose that was, in an officer’s words, “pushed off to the the right.”

Naturally, the officer asked him if that was the normal position of his nose.

“He advised that this was not normal,” the officer reported.

The man’s abnormal nose position, as it turns out, was a result of his wife rearranging a few of his facial features.

Also this week, plenty of smashed car windows, some slashed tires and at least one attempt to turn the roundabout into a straightabout.

Jan. 3
Failed theft: A Moran Road resident woke in the morning to find that someone had rolled his vehicle off his driveway in what police believe was an unsuccessful theft. The owner found the vehicle stuck near his sloped driveway about 60 feet from where he parked it the night before. The keys, which the owner had left inside the vehicle the night before, were missing. He believes the thieves did not want to start the vehicle for fear of being heard.

Jan. 1
Uprooted: Four traffic signs were uprooted near the intersection of Wyatt Way and Weaver Road. Police found two stop signs, a speed limit sign and a caution sign had been pulled from the ground and thrown into a ditch. A city public works employee was called just before noon to repost the signs.

Dec. 31
Broken nose: A Bainbridge woman was arrested after she punched and broke her husband’s nose shortly after 3:30 p.m. at their Madison Avenue home. The victim was found sitting in a chair and bleeding from his nose. He also had a large purple lump under an eye. “His nose was pushed off to the the right,” an officer noted. “He advised that this was not normal.” The victim told police that his wife struck him with her fist during an argument. The victim was treated by aid units at his home, but refused transport to a hospital. The suspect was transported to the county jail and booked on $50,000 bail.

Dec. 30
Rollover: A Kingston woman rolled her Ford SUV after losing control of it on ice covering Fletcher Bay Road. The SUV came to rest on its roof. The woman suffered injuries to a shoulder and hip. She was cited for driving too fast on an icy road.

Theft: A Springridge Road resident reported that a buoy was stolen from the waterway near his home on Port Orchard Bay. Total losses were estimated at $700.

Dec. 29
Shot: Three windows were shot out of a van parked along Point White Drive. Police believe the windows were shot with a BB gun during the night. Damages were estimated at $3,000.

Smashed: A vehicle’s side and rear window were smashed and its tires slashed sometime during the night near the owner’s Baker Hill Road home. Damages were estimated at $1,500.

Smashed: A Battle Point Drive resident reported that a side and rear window of his convertible BMW were destroyed and that a nearby Volvo’s tires were slashed sometime during the night. Damages were estimated at $1,750.

Crashed: A Suquamish woman driving a Cadillac car struck the rear of a Ford SUV driven by a Poulsbo man on Highway 305 near Day Road just before 5 p.m. The Suquamish woman was apparently distracted by watching a Bainbridge police officer investigate a truck stuck in a ditch. No one was injured. The officer cited the woman for following too closely and for having no proof of insurance.

Sugared: A Bainbridge man was informed by his mechanic that his ailing vehicle’s gas tank contained a substance believed to be sugar. Damages were estimated at $200.

Dec. 28
Crash: A Poulsbo woman drove her Volkswagen Jetta over the roundabout circle at the intersection of High School Road and Madison Avenue before striking the Native American sculpture on the intersection’s northwest corner. The suspect fled the scene with flat tires and autobody damage. She was cited for negligent driving and fleeing the scene of an accident shortly after she returned to the scene just before 12:30 a.m.

Dec. 26
Drug bust: Bainbridge police found a small amount of illegal drugs during a bust at a Poulsbo house shortly after midnight. Six police entered the Noll Road home with a search warrant and used a battering ram to knock down the front door. A Poulsbo male was arrested after he was found in a bedroom. Police found tin foil with burn marks consistent with oxycodone use. Two pipes containing burnt marijuana, several boxes of plastic baggies, a baggie containing low-grade marijuana, half of an opiate pill and $420 in cash were also found. The suspect was arrested for possession of marijuana, narcotics and drug paraphernalia.