Police blotter: iPhone destroyed by driveby snowballing

Ever wondered if your fancy iPhone could survive a surprise driveby snowball attack?

The mystery is solved in this week’s blotter.

Dec. 25
Theft: Two snow boards and a radar detector were stolen overnight from a locked vehicle parked outside the owner’s home on New London Court.

Assault: A Bainbridge woman was arrested for striking her boyfriend’s head with a hot cup of cocoa at a Pleasant Beach Drive home shortly after 11:15 p.m. Police found the victim cleaning the peppermint schnapps-flavored hot chocolate off of a vehicle parked in a garage. He told police he had made the hot chocolate to ease the suspect’s nerves after they had an argument about financial issues. The hot chocolate’s ceramic mug caused a small lump when it struck him near an ear.

Dec. 23
Snowballed: Two Bainbridge youths were arrested for assault and malicious mischief after they participated in a drive-by snowballing of a Bainbridge man as he stood along Winslow Way shortly after 7:30 p.m. The victim told police that he was hit with a snowball thrown from a moving Nissan Pathfinder as he exited Winslow Mall to make a call on his cell phone. The snow ball struck the cell phone, making it inoperable. The victim followed the Nissan in his own vehicle along Winslow Way, Grow Avenue and Wyatt Way. He observed the suspects throw snowballs at other pedestrians. The victim recorded the Nissan’s license plate and called police from his home. Police tracked down the suspects, who admitted they threw snowballs. The victim estimated damages to his Apple iPhone at $300.

Paintballed: A Henderson Road resident reported that his home and van had been shot with paint balls four nights in a row. He had heard laughter during one of the shootings, but had not seen the suspects.

Dec. 21
Dog attack: A golden retriever was injured when it was attacked by three other dogs near Cambridge Crest Way just before noon. The retriever’s owner told police that she was walking the dog in a park near her home when three large brown dogs appeared. The retriever had two puncture wounds on the left side of its face, near an eye. The owner fought the dogs off by kicking them. She located the owner, whom she said “showed no remorse” for the incident. The dogs’ owner admitted to police that his dogs had been running around the neighborhood unattended. A report was forwarded to animal control authorities.

Dec. 20
Death: A Bainbridge woman died from a terminal illness just before 8 p.m. at a Knechtel Way residence.

Axed: A Bainbridge man reported that his mailbox’s wooden post had been chopped down with an ax and that the mailbox itself was destroyed. Police redacted the incident’s location.

Theft: A large pile of chopped wood was stolen from a vacant lot on south Madison Avenue by two unknown men just before 1 p.m. An employee of a business across the street saw two men hastily load the wood into their stationwagon. The men told the employee to go away and that the wood was theirs. Police were unable to contact the property’s owner.

Dec. 19
Pileup: Three cars were involved in two separate collisions on Battle Point Drive just before 1:30 p.m. The incident began when a motorist in a Pontiac sedan slid off the icy road and into a ditch. A Bainbridge man driving a Toyota van came along and tried to drive up the hill near the Pontiac. He failed in his attempt, sliding backward and colliding with the Pontiac. A third motorist made the hill attempt but slid backward into the van and blocked the road, preventing a possible fourth attempt. The residency of the Pontiac driver was redacted by police. The residency and vehicle type of the third motorist was also redacted. No injuries or citations.

2 thoughts on “Police blotter: iPhone destroyed by driveby snowballing

  1. This is fun, but where to begin…..

    “Woman died…from terminal illness”. Yeah, those terminal illnesses always get ya. I mean, “terminal” meaning it killed ya, and all.

    Loving the cocoa cup assault. And he called the cops. Good thing marriage is still sacred.

    Lastly, you have to love cop-talk. The iphone was broken, but the officer has watched enough TV to know that “broken” won’t fly. So the snowball rendered it inoperable. No wonder we need/hate the lawyers.

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