Police blotter: “bouncing powdered sugar mini donuts”


If you ever want to attract the attention of a cop, just toss a few “bouncing powdered sugar mini donuts” before his eyes.

That’s lesson number 1 from this week’s blotter.

Lesson 2: don’t insult your wife’s cooking, bust your own lip to end the argument, blame the bloody mess on your wife, threaten to punch an officer, and then hope your trusty refrigerator is going to rescue you.

Read on for all the details .

May 10
Wrestling with police: Officers were called to a Springridge Road residence just before 10:45 p.m. on a suspected domestic disturbance. A man was found standing in his drive way with a bloody face and smelling strongly of alcohol. He told police that he and his wife had an argument over the cost of wooden fence posts he had purchased. He stressed repeatedly that the conflict had not been physical. When asked about the injuries to the side of his face and lip, the man responded that sometimes his “steadiness isn’t so good” and that he had fallen into some bushes. The man asked the police to stay outside while he talked to his wife in the house. Police refused and followed the man as he entered the house and found his wife. “Remember it was vocal only, nothing else,” he told his wife. The man then grabbed the handles of a refrigerator and said “No, I’m not leaving and you can’t make me.” When an officer began prying his fingers off the fridge, the man cocked back his arm, made a fist and said, “You let me go or I’m going to hit you.” The two officers quickly grabbed both the man’s arms, forced him to the floor and began trying to apply handcuffs to his wrists. The man made handcuffing difficult by pulling his arms under his body and refusing to move. The wife became “very upset” as the three men wrestled on the floor. “You’re wrecking my house,” she said. Once the man was handcuffed, the wife explained that their argument stemmed from him saying she was a bad cook and that she should stop cooking altogether. The argument escalated and the man called the police. He then bit his lip until it bled, told his wife she had assaulted him and left the house until police arrived. When asked if the man had hit her, she replied, “No and he better not or I would hit back.” She suggested police take her husband “to rehab or something.” The man told medics that one of the officers had kicked him in the ribs, but no rib area injuries were found. The man refused medical treatment and was transported to the county jail. He was cited for assaulting and obstructing an officer.

High-speed donut throwing: A 39-year-old Bainbridge man was pulled over on State Route 305 when an officer noticed his passenger try to catch donuts thrown from another truck’s window. “I observed what I thought was a golf ball bounce along the highway,” the officer said, recounting when he noticed the high-speed antics. “I then saw another and another and determined they were not golf balls, but bouncing powdered sugar mini donuts.” The officer pulled over the donut-catching truck and asked what was going on. The driver said the other truck’s occupants knew they had skipped breakfast and were sharing their donuts. The donut-throwing truck also pulled over and one of its occupants identified himself as the chaperone of the rest. He said the two trucks were on the way to a Boys State competition in Poulsbo and that they had made a “stupid mistake and that it would never happen again.” The officer gave them “a verbal warning for donut throwing” and let them go because they were late for the competition. The donut-catching truck’s driver was cited for driving with a suspended license.

May 9
‘Little’ cop busts big talker: A 21-year-old Silverdale man was pulled over on Bucklin Hill Road for having expired vehicle tabs and an inoperative brake light. The man initially denied possessing marijuana, but the officer noted the strong smell of the drug emanating from the vehicle. “He hung his head…and handed me a small bag of marijuana,” the officer said. The man then became agitated said “I know you’re not taking to me, little officer.” The officer added the drug possession citation to ones penalizing the man for expired tabs and a broken brake light.

Golf ball heist: A barrel full of golf balls valued at $1,500 was reported stolen from the Wing Point Golf and Country Club.